Beca

“Then tell me,” I said, “O, Wise Arrow, most dear to all manner of trees, how do we get to the Cave of Trophonius? And how do Meg and I survive?”

The arrow’s fletching rippled. THOU SHALT TAKE A CAR.

“That’s it?”

LEAVEST THOU WELL BEFORE DAWN. ’TIS A COUNTER-COMMUTE, AYE, BUT THERE SHALL BE CONSTRUCTION ON HIGHWAY THIRTY-SEVEN. EXPECTEST THOU TO TRAVEL ONE HOUR AND FORTY-TWO MINUTES.

I narrowed my eyes. “Are you somehow… checking Google Maps?”

A long pause. OF COURSE NOT. FIE UPON YOU. AS FOR HOW THOU SHALT SURVIVE, ASK ME THIS ANON, WHEN THOU REACHEST THY DESTINATION.

“Meaning you need time to research the Cave of Trophonius on Wikipedia?”

I SHALL SAY NO MORE TO YOU, BASE VILLAIN! THOU ART NOT WORTHY OF MY SAGE ADVICE!

“I’m not worthy?” I picked up the arrow and shook it. “You’re no help at all, you useless piece of—!”

“Apollo?” Calypso stood in the doorway.”
― Rick Riordan, The Dark Prophecy

“A ROADSIDE STAND WHICH SELLETH FRESH EGGS. ‘Yes?’ THIS ROADSIDE STAND IS NOT IMPORTANT. KEEP DRIVING. ‘Apollo?”
― Rick Riordan, The Dark Prophecy

“A JEST AS WEEK AS THY MUSCLES”
― Rick Riordan, The Burning Maze

“SEEKEST THOU THE CHOO-CHOO.”
― Rick Riordan, The Dark Prophecy