Cassidy

“The mistake is thinking that there can be an antidote to the uncertainty.”
― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary

“The key to a successful relationship isn’t just in the words, it’s in the choice of punctuation. When you’re in love with someone, a well-placed question mark can be the difference between bliss and disaster, and a deeply respected period or a cleverly inserted ellipsis can prevent all kinds of exclamations.”
― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary

“livid, adj.

Fuck You for cheating on me. Fuck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.”
― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary

“So what else can I tell you?" I asked. "I mean, to get you to reveal Lily to me."
She triangled her fingers under her chin. "Let's see. Are you a bed wetter?"
"Am I a...?"
"Bed wetter. I am asking if you are a bed wetter."
I knew she was trying to get me to blink. But I wouldn't.
"No, ma'am. I leave my beds dry."
"Not even a little drip every now and then?"
"I'm trying hard to see how this is germane."
"I'm gauging your honesty. What is the last periodical you read methodically?"
"Vogue. Although, in the interest of full disclosure, that's mostly because I was in my mother's bathroom, enduring a rather long bowel movement. You know, the kind that requires Lamaze."
"What adjective do you feel the most longing for?"
That was easy. "I will admit I have a soft spot for fanciful."
"Let's say I have a hundred million dollars and offer it to you. The only condition is that if you take it, a man in China will fall off his bicycle and die. What do you do?"
"I don't understand why it matters whether he's in China or not. And of course I wouldn't take the money."
The old woman nodded.
"Do you think Abraham Lincoln was a homosexual?"
"All I can say for sure is that he never made a pass at me."
"Are you a museumgoer?"
"Is the pope a churchgoer?"
"When you see a flower painted by Georgia O'Keefe, what comes to mind?"
"That's just a transparent ploy to get me to say the word vagina, isn't it? There. I said it. Vagina.”
― David Levithan, Dash & Lily's Book of Dares