Sciascia

“Are you here to freak me out in any other way?"
"Nope."
"This would include asking me for a date," I warned.
"Babe, don't date," he replied.
"You don't?"
"Do tequila shots followed by 5 hours of sex count as a date? he asked.
"Um... no," I answered.
"Then I don't date."
I smiled at him.
Then, stupidly, I asked. "You can have sex for 5 hours?"
He smiled at me.
Yikes.
Moving on.”
― Kristen Ashley, Mystery Man

“Sissy Mae Smith...stumbled into the room loaded down with even more bags. "You pack like a woman," she snarled when she finally dropped the luggage to the floor. "How can one man have so much conditioner?"

His mouth filled with French toast, Mitch pointed at his hair and snarled, "Tawny mane! Do you think this shit stays this beautiful on its own? It needs care and love! Which is more than I'm getting from you!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Squeeze

“PMS? You're damned right I have PMS! It stands for Pass My Shotgun, which means you'd better sleep with one eye open, buster.”
― Jane Graves, Heartstrings and Diamond Rings