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Isela Regain

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“The formula is simple: In any given situation, detach and ask, “What do I need to do to take care of myself?”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

47 likes

“Frequently, when I suggest to people that they detach from a person or problem, they recoil in horror. “Oh, no!” they say. “I could never do that. I love him, or her, too much. I care too much to do that. This problem or person is too important to me. I have to stay attached!” My answer to that is, “WHO SAYS YOU HAVE TO?” I’ve got news—good news. We don’t “have to.” There’s a better way. It’s called “detachment.”3 It may be scary at first, but it will ultimately work better for everyone involved.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

20 likes

“I saw people who were hostile; they had felt so much hurt that hostility was their only defense against being crushed again.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

24 likes

“We don’t have to take other people’s behaviors as reflections of our self-worth. We don’t have to be embarrassed if someone we love chooses to behave inappropriately. It’s normal to react that way, but we don’t have to continue to feel embarrassed and less than if someone else continues to behave inappropriately. Each person is responsible for his or her behavior.”
― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

38 likes

“Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries. Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We’ll set a limit when we’re ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There’s something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we’re controlling others, but because we’ve changed.”
― Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency

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