Rebecca

“you have
been the
star
of each
& every
one of
my
nightmares.

"- you left but you stayed.”
― Amanda Lovelace, The Princess Saves Herself in This One

“sticks & stones never broke my bones, but words made me starve myself until you could see all of them.   -”
― Amanda Lovelace, The Princess Saves Herself in this One

“silence has always been my loudest scream.”
― Amanda Lovelace, The Princess Saves Herself in this One

“It Rained for Two Days Straight

Yesterday, Ryan told me his grandfather was admitted to the hospital. It was raining the way it rains in the movies, like whoever does the dishes left the faucet running, heavy drops polishing everything in the city dark. We ran from one drooling awning to the next, quicker, then slower, quicker, slower. If one had watched from the sky, our bodies would have looked like two small needles being pulsed forward by some invisible machine, stitching the streets together. Today, Patric was left by a girl he did not love but did not not love. He told me it was impossible to imagine himself both alone and whole. It was still raining--the sky's silly metaphor for sadness, untimely, startling, the way it makes the whole world more honest. Death is like this, too. Heartache, also. The sudden absence of what was there but now not. I touched Patrick's shoulder, attempting to pass my human to his. I sent Ryan a poem. I cannot do more than this art of bearing witness, to be both the bucket and the mirror, to say, yes, you are here but I am here also, to say you won't be here forever, or to say nothing and just walk beside each other in the rain.”
― Sierra DeMulder, Today Means Amen