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“if you get promoted to Ronald McDonald and then you, say, touch a kid, they don’t let you go back to making Big Macs.”
― Colin Jost, A Very Punchable Face

“One is respected and judged only as a human being. It is an appalling experience.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin, The Left Hand of Darkness

“made model airplaines and jerked off all the time.”
― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Cat's Cradle

“In the “O.J./Grease Mash-Up Musical”—Revise the last beat of the song: “He killed Ron Goldman/like a stabby stabby slashy slashy stabbady-slashy-do/And then his ex-wife/like a jabby jabby knifey knifey jabbady-stabby-do.”
― Colin Jost, A Very Punchable Face