Olivia

“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?'

'Yes,' said Harry.

'You called her a liar?'

'Yes.'

'You told her He Who Must Not Be Named is back?'

'Yes.'

Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, frowning at Harry. Then she said, 'Have a biscuit, Potter-'

'Have- what?”
― JK Rowling

“Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, 'It unscrews the other way.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

“No,” said Hermione shortly. “Have either of you seen my copy of Numerology and Gramatica?”
“Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading,” said Ron, but very quietly.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

“If you’ve ever studied mortal age cartoons, you’ll remember this one. A coyote was always plotting the demise of a smirking long-necked bird. The coyote never succeeded; instead, his plans always backfired. He would blow up, or get shot, or splat from a ridiculous height.

And it was funny.

Because no matter how deadly his failure, he was always back in the next scene, as if there were a revival center just beyond the edge of the animation cell.

I’ve seen human foibles that have resulted in temporary maiming or momentary loss of life. People stumble into manholes, are hit by falling objects, trip into the paths of speeding vehicles.

And when it happens, people laugh, because no matter how gruesome the event, that person, just like the coyote, will be back in a day or two, as good as new, and no worse—or wiser—for the wear.

Immortality has turned us all into cartoons.”
― Neal Shusterman, Scythe