Ruby

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Cathy Guisewite
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
Cathy Guiswite

Steven Wright
“If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.”
Steven Wright

John Green
“What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
John Green, Looking for Alaska

John Green
“It's not because I want to make out with her."
Hold on." He grabbed a pencil and scrawled excitedly at the paper as if he'd just made a mathematical breakthrough and then looked back up at me. "I just did some calculations, and I've been able to determine that you're full of shit”
John Green, Looking for Alaska

John Green
“Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.”
John Green, Paper Towns

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