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Bill Watterson
“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
― Bill Watterson

John Wayne
“A man deserves a second chance, but keep an eye on him.”
― John Wayne

Mark Twain
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
― Mark Twain

Jarod Kintz
“If I had a dollar for every time a random woman walked up to me and tried to seduce me, I'd have 50 cents. That's assuming drag queens are half price.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.”
― Zsa Zsa Gabor

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