Alida

“I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

“Don't fuck with an English major. They keep lots of useless crap trapped in their heads. Once in a while they let some of it out and it bites you square on the ass.”
― P.C. Cast, Divine By Mistake

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
― Josh Billings

“I hate writing, I love having written.”
― Dorothy Parker