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“It's really not as bad as it sounds. I was attacked by a shark once, back when I was alive. Well, not so much a shark as a rather large fish. And not so much attacked as looked at menacingly. But it had murder in its eyes, that fish. I knew, in that instant, if our roles had been reversed and the fish had been holding the fishing pole and I had been the one to be caught, it wouldn't hesitate a moment before eating me. So I cooked it and ate before it had a chance to turn the tables.”
― The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
― The Wonderful Adventures of Geoffrey Scrutinous
“You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last
present you gave me was a stick.”
“You wanted a weapon.”
“It was a stick.”
“It had a bow on it.”
“It was a stick.”
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.”
― Kingdom of the Wicked
present you gave me was a stick.”
“You wanted a weapon.”
“It was a stick.”
“It had a bow on it.”
“It was a stick.”
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.”
― Kingdom of the Wicked
“Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.”
― Kingdom of the Wicked
― Kingdom of the Wicked
“Is that it?”
“No. That’s a wall.”
“It could be disguised.”
“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?”
“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.”
― Kingdom of the Wicked
“No. That’s a wall.”
“It could be disguised.”
“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?”
“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.”
― Kingdom of the Wicked
“Ravel said. “And I order people around really well. This morning, Tipstaff came over with a cup of tea and I told him no, I don’t want tea I want coffee. That was great. I really asserted my authority.”
“Did he go and get you a coffee?”
“No, he said he’d already made a pot of tea so I took the tea because, you know he’d already made it, but my authority was still firmly asserted.”
Ghastly nodded. “He’ll think twice about making tea again.”
“That he will, Ghastly my friend, that he will. What are we looking for, by the way?
“Seriously? I gave you the file half an hour ago.”
“Yes, you did.”
“And did you read it?”
“No, I did not.”
― Kingdom of the Wicked
“Did he go and get you a coffee?”
“No, he said he’d already made a pot of tea so I took the tea because, you know he’d already made it, but my authority was still firmly asserted.”
Ghastly nodded. “He’ll think twice about making tea again.”
“That he will, Ghastly my friend, that he will. What are we looking for, by the way?
“Seriously? I gave you the file half an hour ago.”
“Yes, you did.”
“And did you read it?”
“No, I did not.”
― Kingdom of the Wicked
Skulduggery Pleasant
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Nobody’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Nobody’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
1,646 books
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395 friends
565 books
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255 friends
795 books
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71 friends
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248 friends
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25 friends
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26 friends
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50 friends
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