Jeff Lipsky

“How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But the light bulb has really got to want to change.”
― Stephen Arnott, Man Walks into a Bar: Over 6,000 of the Most Hilarious Jokes, Funniest Insults and Gut-Busting One-Liners

“If you try to fail but succeed, which have you done?”
― Stephen Arnott, Man Walks into a Bar: Over 6,000 of the Most Hilarious Jokes, Funniest Insults and Gut-Busting One-Liners

“155. Remember 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemies but remember their names. 3. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. 4. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk!”
― Manik Joshi, Best Jokes: I Have Ever Heard - 800 Jokes

“What’s worse than an elephant with no shirt on? A hippo-bottomless.”
― Bathroom Readers' Institute, The Funniest Joke Book Ever!: Over 500 Jokes to Crack Up Your Friends!