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Bill Cosby
“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”
Bill Cosby

George Carlin
“How is it possible to have a civil war?”
George Carlin

John  Green
“We were kissing.
I thought: This is good.
I thought: I am not bad at this kissing. Not bad at all.
I thought: I am clearly the greatest kisser in the history of the universe.
Suddenly she laughed and pulled away from me. She wiggled a hand out of her sleeping bag and wiped her face. "You slobbered on my nose," she said, and laughed”
John Green, Looking for Alaska

“If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.”
David Cook

Rodney Dangerfield
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield

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