Byron

“Another piece of Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 ended up landing in a grape vineyard on planet Pinot. The Zygo-Gogozizzle 24 was quickly absorbed into the soil and was subsequently soaked up into the grapes. These grapes, which had until recently been harvested almost to extinction, suddenly became self-aware and super intelligent. They banded together in bunches and rose up to defeat their oppressors. The battle lasted one whole night, but sadly, it ended the next morning when the sun came up. The rebellion shriveled when the poor grapes ran out of juice. Apparently there’s a raisin for everything.”
― Dav Pilkey

“two wrongs dont make a right”
― Dav Pilkey, Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets

“What happened at the end of our last story is something called misdirection. It's what happens when you are led to believe that something is true, but in reality it's not true at all. Misdirection happens a lot in real life- especially in politics, history, education, medicine, marketing, science, religion, and the Oprah Winfrey Network.”
― Dav Pilkey, Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers

“I've never met a lasagna I didn't like”
― Jim Davis