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W.C. Fields
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

Garrison Keillor
“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

Benjamin Franklin Wade
“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

George Carlin
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

Charles J. Sykes
“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

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