Meagan

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“Have you ever experienced a pain so sharp in your heart that it's all you can do to take a breath? It's a pain you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy; you wouldn't want to pass it on to anyone else for fear he or she might not be able to bear it. It's the pain of being betrayed by a person with whom you've fallen in love. It's not as serious as death, but it feels a whole lot like it, and as I've come to learn, pain is pain any way you slice it.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor' -- always fun to be around but she doesn't have any patience for suffering unless it's her own.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea