Solace

“We’re going to the retirement home, then?” “Oh, I would love to see you trying to do some community service with fragile old humans. They’d be like ‘But I would just like a glass of water.’ And you’d be like ‘Don’t be so weak, human. I’m older than you! Get your own water!”
― Alice Winters, How to Vex a Vampire

“Sweet baby Jesus,” I whisper.
Andrew rolls his eyes. “I keep telling you, Noah, he was just some random do-gooder sorcerer. Look him up in the archives—by all accounts, he was a nice guy, but he came really close to outing the community with his insistence on helping humans.”
“Forget about history,” Alistair insists. “I want to hear more about this porn party. Exactly what does it involve?”
With a shrug, Andrew finally moves away from the door toward his desk. “Well, there are different kinds. The most fun include sex, of course. But since I have no desire to get naked with David—”
“Hey!” David exclaims, then shakes his head. “Why am I complaining about that?”
― Louisa Masters, One Bite With a Vampire

“Stabby McStabbed is like ten feet that way. I didn’t stab him well enough to kill him either, so I’m sure he’ll have something to say about seeing my face if I come waltzing up playing the innocent party member.”
― Alice Winters, The Former Assassin's Guide to Snagging a Reluctant Boyfriend

“I don’t know if it’s the bed or the knowledge that Andrew’s wards are top-notch or what, but when I finally do manage to get to sleep, I don’t wake up until morning. If I’m having nightmares, they’re polite enough to disperse before I can remember them. It’s amazing. Sleep is amazing. I recommend it. Five stars.”
― Louisa Masters, One Bite With a Vampire