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“Nekhbet shrieked in alarm. I turned to see what was going on. Immediately, I wished I could burn my eyes out of my head.
Liz made a gagging sound. "Lord, no! That's wrong!"
"Agh!" Emma shouted, in perfect baboon-speak. "Make him stop!"
Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit.He climbed onto the roof of the limo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like Superman- except with only the underwear. For those faint of heart I wont go into detail, but Bes, all of a meter tall, was showing off his disgusting physique- his potbelly, hairy limbs, awful feet, gross flabby bits- and wearing only a blue Speedo. Imagine the worst looking person you've ever seen on a public beach- the person for whom swimwear should be illegal. Bes looked worse than that.
I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!"
Bes laughed= the sort of guffaw that says Ha-ha! I'm amazing!
"Not until they leave," he said. "Or I'll be forced to scare them back to the Duat."
"This is not your affair, dwarf god!" Nekhbet snarled, averting her eyes from his horribleness. "Go away!"
"These children are under my protection," Bes insisted
"I don't know you," I said. "I never met you before today."
"Nonsense. You expressly asked for my protection."
"I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol!"
Bes leaped off the limo and landed in front of my circle placing himself between Babi and me. The dwarf was even more horrible from behind. His back was so hairy it looked like a mink coat. And on the back of his Speedo was printed DWARF PRIDE.”
―
Liz made a gagging sound. "Lord, no! That's wrong!"
"Agh!" Emma shouted, in perfect baboon-speak. "Make him stop!"
Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit.He climbed onto the roof of the limo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like Superman- except with only the underwear. For those faint of heart I wont go into detail, but Bes, all of a meter tall, was showing off his disgusting physique- his potbelly, hairy limbs, awful feet, gross flabby bits- and wearing only a blue Speedo. Imagine the worst looking person you've ever seen on a public beach- the person for whom swimwear should be illegal. Bes looked worse than that.
I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!"
Bes laughed= the sort of guffaw that says Ha-ha! I'm amazing!
"Not until they leave," he said. "Or I'll be forced to scare them back to the Duat."
"This is not your affair, dwarf god!" Nekhbet snarled, averting her eyes from his horribleness. "Go away!"
"These children are under my protection," Bes insisted
"I don't know you," I said. "I never met you before today."
"Nonsense. You expressly asked for my protection."
"I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol!"
Bes leaped off the limo and landed in front of my circle placing himself between Babi and me. The dwarf was even more horrible from behind. His back was so hairy it looked like a mink coat. And on the back of his Speedo was printed DWARF PRIDE.”
―
“We can only die in the future, I thought; right now we are always alive.”
― The Collected Stories
― The Collected Stories
“What a slut time is. She screws everybody.”
― The Fault in Our Stars
― The Fault in Our Stars
“I don’t want to fade away, I want to flame away - I want my death to be an attraction, a spectacle, a mystery. A work of art.”
― A Visit from the Goon Squad
― A Visit from the Goon Squad
“There’s my baby!” I cried, quite carried away. “There’s my Poochiekins!”
Ammit ran at me and leaped into my arms, nuzzling me with his rough snout.
“My lord Osiris!” Disturber lost the bottom of his scroll again, which unraveled around his legs. “This is an outrage!”
“Sadie,” Dad said firmly, “please do not refer to the Devourer of Souls as Poochiekins.”
― The Serpent's Shadow
Ammit ran at me and leaped into my arms, nuzzling me with his rough snout.
“My lord Osiris!” Disturber lost the bottom of his scroll again, which unraveled around his legs. “This is an outrage!”
“Sadie,” Dad said firmly, “please do not refer to the Devourer of Souls as Poochiekins.”
― The Serpent's Shadow
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“Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put bac ...more
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