Annie

“They took my anger.
They took my voice.
They took my story.”
― Trista Mateer, Aphrodite Made Me Do It

“That is okay. It is okay to leave. It is okay to feel smothered by the weight of a life you didn't want or a relationship that doesn't taste the way you thought it would. It does not make you hard or disagreeable or unreasonable.”
― Trista Mateer, Honeybee

“it’s hard to tell the difference between wanting to die and just wanting to sink for a while.”
― Trista Mateer, The Dogs I Have Kissed

“SMALL GHOST HAS ANOTHER BREAKDOWN

small ghost watches the blood pump in your neck
small ghost fills up the bathtub just to drain it
small ghost wants to crawl into bed with her mother
small ghost is so tired
she’s so tired
she’s so fucking tired

the cobwebs in her head feel so heavy, you know?
and it’s like when they started spinning themselves
it wasn’t such a big deal
but now that they’re here????
they’re just so heavy/she’s just so tired/she’s just so/she’s just

she paces the kitchen
walks past your new set of knives over and over
has to remind herself twice in the span of five minutes

you can’t kill something that’s already dead

and isn’t that the point
isn’t that why she became a small ghost anyway

she can’t remember when she started digging her own grave
but now she can’t stop hovering over it”
― Trista Mateer, Small Ghost