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Dorothy Parker
“Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker
“Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!”
― Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker
“Inventory:

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker

Dorothy Parker
“Résumé
Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live.”
― Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope

Dorothy Parker
“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”
― Dorothy Parker

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