Ashlee

“Is Jase already gonna marry you?”

I start coughing again. “Uh, No. No, George. I’m only seventeen.” As if that’s the only reason we’re not engaged.

“I’m this many.” George holds up four, slightly grubby fingers. “But Jase is seventeen and a half. You could. Then you could live in here with him. And have a big family.”

Jase strides back into the room, of course, midway through this proposition. “George. Beat it. Discovery Channel is on.”

George backs out of the room but not before saying, “His bed’s really comfortable. And he never pees in it.”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door

“Do you know how many times I've read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to this kid? That is one fucked-up story. How is that a book for babies?”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door

“Being a politician is a lot like being an alcoholic in denial.”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door

“He has the kind of Southern accent that makes you think of melting butter on biscuits, and porch swings.”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door