Ashlee

“Is Jase already gonna marry you?”

I start coughing again. “Uh, No. No, George. I’m only seventeen.” As if that’s the only reason we’re not engaged.

“I’m this many.” George holds up four, slightly grubby fingers. “But Jase is seventeen and a half. You could. Then you could live in here with him. And have a big family.”

Jase strides back into the room, of course, midway through this proposition. “George. Beat it. Discovery Channel is on.”

George backs out of the room but not before saying, “His bed’s really comfortable. And he never pees in it.”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door

“You're just going to walk away-like that? You're leaving it this way? Now? I love you. You can't...”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door

“There’s an opening at Mom’s campaign,” I say. “She needs all the help she can get
now that she’s totally distracted by Clay Tucker.”
“Who the hell’s Clay Tucker?”
“The…” Nan lowers her voice, even though all she says is: “…younger man
Samantha’s mother’s dating.”
“Your ma’s dating?” Tim looks shocked. “I thought she pretty much confined herself
to a vibrator and the shower nozzle since your dad screwed her over.”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door

“Do you know how many times I've read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to this kid? That is one fucked-up story. How is that a book for babies?”
― Huntley Fitzpatrick, My Life Next Door