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Zoe

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“Interviewer: So. Tell me about your mother.
Ezra: You're taping this, right?
Interviewer: Audio only. Camera is faulty.
Ezra: Okay, well for the benefit of the sight-impaired, I am now raising my… oh, dear… yes, it's my MIDDLE finger at Mr. Postgrad here.
Interviewer: Mr. Mason...
Ezra: Now I'm wiggling it.
Interviewer: Terminating interview at 13:58 on 03/19/75.
Ezra: Look at it wiggl-
-audio ends-”
― Amie Kaufman, Illuminae

tags: funny, lol

317 likes

“We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

tags: funny, leo-valdez

235 likes

“She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.”
― Rick Riordan, The House of Hades

tags: calypso, funny, humor, leo-valdez, love

369 likes

“I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.”
― Mark A. Cooper, Royal Decree

tags: funny, humor, prick, rude-quote, schoolboy-quote, witty-comebacks

412 likes

“You don't want him," she said to the pink-haired girl. "He has syphilis."
The girls stared. "Syphilis?"
"Five percent of people in America have it," said Ty helpfully.
"I do not have syphilis," Mark said angrily. "There are no sexually transmitted diseases in Faerieland!"
"Sorry," Jules said. "You know how syphilis is. Attacks the brain.”
― Cassandra Clare, Lady Midnight

tags: blackthorn-family, funny, humour, julian-blackthorn, mark-blackthorn

326 likes

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