Gary

“Dear asshole, I want to thank you for making me miss the strawberry festival with your selfish and asinine driving. You are the worst person I have ever encountered and know that I am watching you. If you ever sit in the left lane again for any reason other than passing I will burn your house down and hopefully you in it! Ron Bu.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“I’m gonna admit it: When one of those nuns showered with us after wrestling practice there were more than a few boners on display.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“Here’s what college will get you: a sad, lonely, competitive longing for unattainable goals and a deep anxiety about impending failure and finally death. Studies show you will also get herpes.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“If there was a higher form of idiot, like a circus idiot’s illegitimate child with an idiot donkey, then that would be you.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings