Gary

“I will rip your balls off and sauté them in garlic butter with basil and ground pepper. I will then add a garnish of shaved orange peels and a side of fresh-cut sliced beets misted with lemon juice. I will beautifully plate it and enjoy a glass of white wine with it while dressed in a tuxedo. It will be a Michelin three-star meal and you will not be invited to join me!”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“Ron, sometimes people don’t want the truth. They just want the news.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“Dear asshole, I want to thank you for making me miss the strawberry festival with your selfish and asinine driving. You are the worst person I have ever encountered and know that I am watching you. If you ever sit in the left lane again for any reason other than passing I will burn your house down and hopefully you in it! Ron Bu.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“Here’s what college will get you: a sad, lonely, competitive longing for unattainable goals and a deep anxiety about impending failure and finally death. Studies show you will also get herpes.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings