Gary

“every Friday night he would set up a desk in the Tight Manhole, an Irish bar where the mine workers drank and sang songs of misery. The oil company paid him to report on all the charitable and civic-minded projects they had in the works as well as hard-hitting news stories happening in Haggleworth. Because of his honest face and gifted speaking voice, men and women would come in from all the other bars in Haggleworth—the Dirty Chute, the Mine Shaft, the Rear End, the Suspect Opening, the Black Orifice, the Poop Chute, too many to list here—all to listen to The Shell Oil Burgundy Hour.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“Here’s what college will get you: a sad, lonely, competitive longing for unattainable goals and a deep anxiety about impending failure and finally death. Studies show you will also get herpes.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“I stand here (I write standing up) and I say, “No!” No, this book will NOT be lost! This book is necessary. It’s an important work from an important man. I was the number one News Anchor in all of San Diego. My name is Ron Burgundy and what you have in your hands is a very big deal. It’s … my … life. It’s my words. It’s my gift to you.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

“If there was a higher form of idiot, like a circus idiot’s illegitimate child with an idiot donkey, then that would be you.”
― Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings