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Ron Burgundy
“Children are spending too much time on gadgets. That’s gotta have some sort of effect on something and it makes for good complaining.”
Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

Ron Burgundy
“every Friday night he would set up a desk in the Tight Manhole, an Irish bar where the mine workers drank and sang songs of misery. The oil company paid him to report on all the charitable and civic-minded projects they had in the works as well as hard-hitting news stories happening in Haggleworth. Because of his honest face and gifted speaking voice, men and women would come in from all the other bars in Haggleworth—the Dirty Chute, the Mine Shaft, the Rear End, the Suspect Opening, the Black Orifice, the Poop Chute, too many to list here—all to listen to The Shell Oil Burgundy Hour.”
Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

Ron Burgundy
“If there was a higher form of idiot, like a circus idiot’s illegitimate child with an idiot donkey, then that would be you.”
Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

Ron Burgundy
“Ron, sometimes people don’t want the truth. They just want the news.”
Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

Ron Burgundy
“Dear asshole, I want to thank you for making me miss the strawberry festival with your selfish and asinine driving. You are the worst person I have ever encountered and know that I am watching you. If you ever sit in the left lane again for any reason other than passing I will burn your house down and hopefully you in it! Ron Bu.”
Ron Burgundy, Let Me Off at the Top!: My Classy Life and Other Musings

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