Aaron Dettmann

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
― John Green

“You can eat whatever and whenever you want, so long as it's during meal hours in the cafeteria.”
― Trenton Lee Stewart, The Mysterious Benedict Society

“Secretly, deep down, everybody on Earth believes they can write poetry, apart from the members of the Poets' Guild, who know they can't.”
― K.J. Parker, Devices and Desires

“You can bathe as often as you like or not at all, provided you're clean every day in class.”
― Trenton Lee Stewart, The Mysterious Benedict Society