Alexander George

“You know what, Carl? I’ve decided something,” Donut said, finally speaking. She released Mongo, who squawked and started investigating this strange, new world. “Yeah, Donut?” “I think they’re right about you. I think you’re crazy. Like, not a little weird crazy. Not guy who eats cereal without milk crazy. But crazy, crazy. Straitjacket crazy.” I took the cat into my lap, and then I pulled her to my chest. She purred heavily into my ear.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Gate of the Feral Gods

“Cats are assholes. I get it. But do you know why people like cats, despite their asshole-ness? It’s because they don’t fucking talk.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“The corpse had looked like a party sized sausage and green pepper pizza that had been run over a few times”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl

“Goddamnit, Donut.”
― Matt Dinniman, Dungeon Crawler Carl