Pete Holmes

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Terry Pratchett
“His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, 'You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink.”
Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

Terry Pratchett
“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Terry Pratchett
“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

Terry Pratchett
“The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?”
Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment

Terry Pratchett
“It was lonely on the hill, and cold. And all you could do was keep going. You could scream, cry, and stamp your feet, but apart from making you feel warmer, it wouldn’t do any good. You could say it was unfair, and that was true, but the universe didn’t care because it didn’t know what “fair” meant. That was the big problem about being a witch. It was up to you. It was always up to you.”
Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith

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