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David Lee Roth
“I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.”
David Lee Roth

George Carlin
“Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”
George Carlin

George Carlin
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
George Carlin

George Carlin
“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”
George Carlin

George Carlin
“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”
George Carlin

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