Jacoblightning3

“Plot hole: In Book 17 it says that Steve died and respawned in an attack on the pyramid 400 years ago, but in Book 28 Steve said he last died with the illagers and the pit 700 years ago. What is going on, Dave? Do you not even remember what happened in your own books?! Oops! A lot of people pointed this one out. In future versions of Book 28 I’m changing it to this: “No idea bro,” said Steve. “It was a long time ago, though—I’m pretty tough to kill. I think the last time I died it was something to do with a diamond pyramid.” So Steve hasn’t respawned again since he tried to stop Arsalan, Dave realized, to his surprise. That was two-hundred years ago!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 29: An Unofficial Minecraft Novel

“Now,” said the announcer, “without further ado, let’s… oh no! Help! No! Stop! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!” “Well that’s the weirdest announcement I’ve ever heard,” said Carl. “Something’s wrong,” said Dave.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Cluck Lee, it’s time!” Spidroth turned and saw that Sensei Coach was watching the battle from the sidelines as well. “You need to use your full power,” the cowman continued. “Take them off!” “Bwark?” said Cluck Lee. “Bwark, bwark, bwark, bwark?” “It’s alright, Cluck Lee,” said Sensei Coach. “You have my permission.” Cluck Lee reached down, bringing his beak down to his legs. For the first time, Spidroth noticed that the chicken’s legs weren't actually amber, he was wearing amber leggings. The chicken pulled down one of his leggings, and Spidroth saw that he was wearing weights around his ankles. “Leg weights?” said Vioroth. “You mean that chicken did all that while wearing leg weights?!” “The leg weights help with his training,” said Sensei Coach. “Hmmph,” said Necroth. “No offense, but I don’t think removing a couple of little leg weights is going to help much.” Cluck Lee pulled off one leg weight and then the other, holding them both in his beak. Then he opened his beak and the weights fell to the ground. KA-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!! The weights were so heavy that when they hit the ground the mountain shook. Everyone’s mouths dropped open in shock, and even Enderbrine looked terrified. “Go, Cluck Lee!” shouted Sensei Coach, punching his fist in the air. “Show them what a true master of chicken-jitsu can do!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 29: An Unofficial Minecraft Novel

“Carl abandons the quest for a mountain of baked potatoes”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book