Jacoblightning3

“Now,” said the announcer, “without further ado, let’s… oh no! Help! No! Stop! ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!” “Well that’s the weirdest announcement I’ve ever heard,” said Carl. “Something’s wrong,” said Dave.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Hee, hee,” he giggled. “Hee, hee, hee, HOO, HAA!” Enderbrine stood up, grinning evilly at all of them. “HEE HEE HOO HOO HAA!!!” Enderbrine shrieked, his eyes bulging out of his head and black, oily tears running down his cheeks. “HAW HAW HAW HEE HEE HOO HOO!!!!” Suddenly Enderbrine’s eyes began to glow white. The light from his eyes was so bright that Spidroth had to squint. “Oh no,” gasped Vioroth. “He’s monstermaxing!” “HOO HOO HUUUUGGGHHH!!!!!” Enderbrine screamed. His laughter was suddenly cut off by something inside his mouth. He was making raspy, choking noises, like he was trying to get something out of his throat. And then Enderbrine lifted back his head and hundreds of huge black tentacles burst from his mouth; so many of them that they blocked out the sun.”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 29: An Unofficial Minecraft Novel

“Who’s Steve?” Steve asked. “Um, you are,” said Dave. “That’s your name.” “What’s a name?” asked Steve. “Um… it’s a word that a person calls themselves,” said Dave. “Right,” said Steve. “What’s a ‘word’?” Oh boy, thought Dave. This is going to be tough…”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 28: An Unofficial Minecraft Book

“Plot hole: In Book 17 it says that Steve died and respawned in an attack on the pyramid 400 years ago, but in Book 28 Steve said he last died with the illagers and the pit 700 years ago. What is going on, Dave? Do you not even remember what happened in your own books?! Oops! A lot of people pointed this one out. In future versions of Book 28 I’m changing it to this: “No idea bro,” said Steve. “It was a long time ago, though—I’m pretty tough to kill. I think the last time I died it was something to do with a diamond pyramid.” So Steve hasn’t respawned again since he tried to stop Arsalan, Dave realized, to his surprise. That was two-hundred years ago!”
― Dave Villager, Dave the Villager 29: An Unofficial Minecraft Novel