Jason Edwards

“I looked over at her; if women knew how good they looked in the dash light of oversized pickup trucks, they'd never get out of them.”
― Craig Johnson, Death Without Company

“I don’t know what the exact physical dynamics are that cause a shower curtain to attach itself to your body when you turn on the water but, since my shower was surrounded on all sides by curtains, I turned on the water and became a vinyl, vacuum-sealed sheriff burrito.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

“It's only pre-marital sex if you plan on getting married.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

“Ain't nothing wrong with shootin' folks, long as the right ones get shot”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish