Ariel Fontenette

“Ah took a pish oan the cunt, then ah felt bad aboot Albo's cel so ah sais tae him oan the wey oot, cunt's only went n pished hissel but, eh.”
― Irvine Welsh, Skagboys

“Give the reader hell. Stretch the reader.”
― Martin Amis

“The bar staff and croupiers all wore black with the same green triangle logo emblazoned on their shirts, and contact lenses which made their eyes shine an eerie, vibrant green. The bar optics glowed with the same green light, the intensity of which was linked to the music. As the bartender walked away to fetch the drinks, a breakdown in the techno track commenced and the bottles began to palpitate. The bartender's eyes glowed with a hallucinatory felinity that made Mangle feel nervous.”
― R.D. Ronald, The Zombie Room

“Hey! Shouts Camel. There ain't no woman in the world worth two bottles of whiskey!”
― Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants