Leonardo Sciascia > Quotes > Quote > Sebastian shared it

“Cusan was a committed writer: as a result, he fell into profound consternation at finding himself embroiled in those secrets, those dangers. But he was an honest man, a loyal friend: and after having tried with every angle and every weak point to topple that castle of impressions, of deductions, of theories, he accepted that he had entered it alongside Rogas: as in a labyrinth, they had to find a thread to lead them out. And there was a thread at hand: and it was to escape by forgetting. In their thoughts, they brushed it several times, both of them were on the verge of clutching it. The pleasures of the place, the food, the wine; the good and dear paternal and maternal images repeating, “Who’s forcing you to do it?’’, that two millenniums of the nation’s history made prophetic and fateful; the memories of carefree youth that returned whenever they met; the yearning for things yet to be understood, places yet to explore, books yet to be read, in the prospective maturity and serenity that they felt was upon them (cancer and heart attacks permitting): everything converged to push their minds toward that thread of salvation and oblivion. But they didn’t say anything to each other, and both of them felt ashamed of thinking it and not saying it; even though they would have been more ashamed to say it. But there was also, wickedly, submerged beneath will and conscience, the reciprocal expectation that the other would give in.”
― Leonardo Sciascia