Laken > Recent Status Updates

Wait, how does Abbey know Tom has been shot? Nobody said what happened when they came back, they know Tom isn't with them, but not what happened. This is what I mean by the writing...

The problem I have here, is they're all complaining about the money Marcus wants, but none of them are working or even trying to do anything else, or legal, to get the money. Sell some more drugs, but there's no talk about how Alex runs his drug dealing business. You can't tell me you can't make a ton of money selling drugs if you have a lot of people to sell to.

The story is getting better, but the writing is still throwing me off a little (grammar/spelling wise).

The story is finally picking up and getting interesting. I still wish the transitions in this story were written better, it jumps from one character to the next

The writing is the number one thing throwing me off in this story right now, it's obvious this is a first novel. There's more telling than showing, and the characters are given physical descriptions, but it's lacking depth. Someone needs to go back and re edit this story. It's taking away from the actual storyline for me.

I like the story so far, but the main thing annoying me right now is how it's written. It's not badly written, but the tenses change and there's too much detail.
"There is no hiding the truth anymore. She will have to tell them the reason for her strange behaviour and explain why she has suddenly gone from laughing and joking to looking drip white and stone faced."
Also, too many "..."s ...

The name Abbey Miller keeps making me think of Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms, and there is obviously no connection at all, but they have the same name lol. Aside from some grammatical errors, it doesn't seem like it's going to be a bad read after the first chapter, we'll see how it goes.