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'Why, Sam,' Frodo said, 'to hear you somehow makes me as merry as if the story was already written. But you've left out one of the chief characters: Samwise the stout-hearted.'
🥹🥲

John Thorpe!! 😡

"It was Sam's first view of the battle of Men against Men, and he did not much like it. He was glad he could not see the dead face. He wondered what the man's name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil of heart, or what lies and threats had led him on the long march from his home; and if he would not really rather have stayed there in peace."
Sam is so pure.

OH MY GOSH! 😱

This book is so painful! 😟

"When she texted him, he'd just wandered out from the pines after his lather-rinse-repeat regimen of screaming at the sky until his voice gave out, running along the trails until he got winded, and then skipping stones across the partially frozen pond until the frustration boiled up in him again."
This dude is 40! FORTY! Not 15, not 18, not even 25! Grow up, dude!!
If I weren't over halfway in, I'd DNF.

"Well, first a shower, then a run."
Who showers BEFORE they run?

"...something akin to water erupting from a whale's blowhole during the countdown to a NASA rocket launch."
What did I just read? 😭