Daiga > Recent Status Updates

“Oh my god,” Gus groaned, wondering if maybe he’d been drugged during the night and was having a bad trip. “You’re a stoned hipster who thinks he’s a bleeding Jesus. And you have an iPhone. Because of course you do.”

A simple hello could lead to a million things.
“Yeah,” Gus said. “Like herpes or getting fisted.”

At seven, he had a beer, but just one. Any more, and he’d be drunk encyclopediaing and that would just be reckless thing to do. Pretty soon, he’d be skipping whole letters and bending pages and he’d wake up in the morning with a headache and regret, the encyclopedia smashed on his face like it was some common book. The walk of shame to his bedroom would be miserable.

There was a moment, when all four women looked back into the video store and he swore they all had matching, evil grins on their faces.

Wallace broke. “You can’t… Hugo.”
“I know,” Hugo said, sounding strangely vulnerable. [..] “But it’s mine. It’s for me. And you can’t take that away.”
“I’m not trying to,” Wallace snapped. “It’s - you’re…” His chest hitched. The hook felt molten hot. “You’re making it harder. Please don’t do this to me. I can’t stand it. I just can’t.”
“Why?” Hugo asked “What’s so bad about it?”
“Because I’m dead!” Wallace shouted.

“Just friends?”
“Hang up!” Wallace said frantically. “Oh my god, hang up the phone!” He tried to swipe at it, but Hugo was quicker, plucking it off the counter and holding it out of reach.
“Just friends,” [..]
“Are you sure? Because- and I can’t believe I know this- you sound like the kind of guy he’d go for. He didn’t think I noticed, but he would swoon whenever-“
“I don’t swoon!” Wallace bellowed.

“For someone who’s a ferryman, there’s a lot you don’t know.”
Hugo chuckled. “Isn’t it great? I’d hate to know everything. There’s be no mystery left. What would be the point?”
“But you’d know what to expect.” He realized how it sounded the moment he said it. “Which is why we unexpect.”
“Exactly,” Hugo said, as if that made any kind of sense.

The first time you share tea, you are a stranger.
The second time you share tea, you are an honored guest.
The third time you share tea, you become family.

Here was a shot of an island in a cerulean sea, the trees so thick, he couldn’t see the ground.

I marked my ovulation cycle on his work calendar. Do you know what he did? He sent me a card that said CONGRATULATIONS, GRADUATE.

"And why is my assistant a plant, Persephone?"

"Your paths," Sybil said. "You and Hades-it was destiny, woven by the Fates."

"I might decide I want to fuck you with that crown on."

"You said the map is only visible to those you trust. What does it take to gain the trust of the God of the Dead?"
He responded simply, "Time."

"To teach you a lesson" he replied.
"To not bring mortals into your realm?"
"To not leave when you are angry with me," he said.

"You'd be surprised by what the God of the Dead is interested in," Antoni replied.

She stood slowly, arching her back as she stretched. And then she walked to Theodore and lifted her paw to smack him across the face before yawning and jumping down from bed.

"Did you just tell that entire story to be able to make a joke?"
"Yes." Lucy said wiping his eyes. "Because you told me once that if we can't laugh at ourselves, we're doing it wrong."

"Something you'll never find, so don't even think about it. A wyvern is very protective over his hoard and will maim anyone who tries to take it from him." She paused, considering. "It's underneath the sofa in the living room. You should go check it out."

"I'm not depressed!"
She looked him up and down. "You aren't? Why on earth not?"

You, she thought. You. You are just the most-
The worst-
The best-

"Did you... Did you just kiss me?"

[..]

"Nope."

[..]

"Are you sure?"

"Why do you listen so closely to everything I say, and then remember it?" He frowned down at her, reaching over to rumple her hair with his free hand. "It's all very unfair."

"This is the best day of my fucking life!" he shouted. "Only! One! Bed! My second-favorite trope"

Finally, you exasperating shrew, finally, and he'd wrapped around her like-

"Sit down Alex. Nanny Clegg will explain the birds and the bees and the bottoms to you."

Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.

"Although I am wearing the cloak Mother Marrow made me, the one that will turn any blade, I still promise to run, tail between my legs. And since I have a tail, that should be amusing for everyone. Are you satisfied?"

He's looking at me as though somehow I am the one who's behaving strangely. "Jude, you can't really think I don't know it's you. I knew you from the moment you walked into the brugh."

"You never replied to a one," he goes on. "I began to wonder if you'd misplaced your ambition in the mortal world."