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meu deus não consigo parar de ler como assim nunca li isso antes (mas ao mesmo tempo acho que esse foi o momento perfeito

so far it feels like the B side of michelle hart’s “we do what we do in the dark”… which means i’m gonna chomp this down in a wink

i’m gonna attempt to only read horror books this month. i barely started this one and i’m already transfixed by jackson’s prose

i haven’t felt this conflicted about a book in a minute lol

usually after coming across deeply self reflecting passages i feel a warmth, a sense of belonging, serenity in the fact that someone else went through the trouble of putting into words very complicated emotions, but this time i just feel unsettled. eve is coming to terms with her own sexuality in a way i don’t think i’ll ever have the opportunity to even though i relate so essentially to her

hmmmm it’s starting to bother me how little is said about nathan… he’s framed to be this magnetic all-encompassing character but so far it’s very shallow

“Wasn't there something demoralizing about it: the way romance with a woman so often asked that I advocate for myself and trust that I would be loved once I had shown how I could care for and excite her, how this kind of relationship seemed to rely on my convincing a woman of my value? What a pleasure it was to be obvious, even if what was obvious was merely my body.”

i need something extreme to get me out of this slump. can’t believe i’m doing this but here we fucking go

this is serving my interests so hard right now

does it feel like i’m reading a reddit thread? yes! does it still scare the living shizzle out of me? of course!

this is a BOOK book! interesting!

i don’t remember when i’ve last felt this conflicted towards a main character

i hope it turns gay but i’m enjoying it either way… can’t help but love books where the main character’s main struggle is not knowing what their future will look like

i’m so outstandingly horny

vou até falar em português pra poder xingar essa desgraçada que solta umas bombas completamente de graça do mais absoluto nada filha de chocadeira do caralho

i know i’ve kept complaining in every update about the lack of trauma and devastation, but did they really have to come up at once right before fucking i went to sleep? i feel like i’m gonna have to watch adam sandler’s entire filmography before managing to erase the hiam and ezra from my memory

i’m looking for a pattern for the repeated names… merely a coincidence? are we talking about past lives? charles griffith in book 3 definitely feels more like an edward bishop from book 1 - or book 2, for that matter. meanwhile nathaniel in book 3 feels like david (both the father and the son) from book 2. the letter exchanges are so much more fluid it’s crazy

i’m having a really hard time getting through book 3 😭 where the fuck am i what the fuck is going on 😭😭😭 it feels like book 2 was the only part hanya actually wrote bc the other two feel nothing like her style

camila sosa villada a valeria vegas argentina!!!!! totalmente apaixonada!!!!

comecei 50 livros em um período de menos de 30 dias e estou começando mais um SIM eu NUNCA garanti coerência nem consistência

end of book two. i’m still figuring out what i thought about this last chapter… something about being raised by a lonely parent hits very close to home, and reading it from the father’s perspective makes it hurt even more. everyone just wants to be accepted and loved, sometimes affection is so scarce in one’s life that they mistake belittling and humiliation for it, because they can’t tell them apart.

finished the first chapter of book two. pretty sure i cried about 5x more in this chapter alone than in the entirety of a little life. at a certain point i gave up on wiping my face and let the tears flow until i got tired of reading for the day. peter was very much a secondary character, but he triggered the most beautiful and heart wrenching moments and observations… i hate and love how hanya makes me feel

“That was someone else's Heaven, but it was not
his. His was somewhere else, but it would not appear in front of him; rather, it would be his to find.” just finished book one. i gasped and yelled and fumed, my heart ached so much for david (been there) and for nathaniel. i’m kinda glad i probably won’t know the outcome of it. i’m excited for the 90s though! hoping for a female main character