Guilty Pleasures > Recent Status Updates

“Praise the Lord for whatever the heck is going on right now, because God do I fucking love being a cucumber.”

I just cackled, this is ridiculous 😂

“I know dogs pee on their territory. Cats too. If I could figure out how to do it without being thoroughly disgusting, I would”

Ew. I already know I don’t like this one 😖

» I had no idea how Mrs. Putnam even knows a recipe for the dish. It’s not as if she’s ever made it for me. “Wait, why don’t you cook like this for me?”
She snorts a laugh. “Because your favorite foods are domination and revenge. Neither of those are on the menu here.” «

I OFFICIALLY LOVE MRS. PUTNAM! 😂♥️