Wes Veitch > Recent Status Updates

"In order to create positive change, we have to first build connection, which will lead kids to FEEL better, which will then lead them to BEHAVE better. But note, behavior comes last. We cannot start there. We must start with connection."

Play No Phone Time

The Fill-Up Game

Emotional Vaccination

The Feeling Bench

Playfulness

"Did I Ever Tell You About the Time...?"

Change the Ending

No one is naturally wired to suppress their own needs in favor of meeting the needs of others. If you have trouble prioritizing self-care, start with self-compassion. Remind yourself that over the course of your earlier years, it must've been adaptive to be vigilant about the needs of others, and that vigilance overpowered your attunement to your own needs."

If you've noticed something in your environment, your child has too. Confirming our children's perceptions sets them up to recognize when things don't feel right later, and it will empower them to trust themselves enough to speak up.

"We don't have to train them to be kind. We have to help them manage some of the barriers to kindness that can look, on the surface, like harsh behavior but that, in reality, emerge to protect them... The more you work to reduce shame and increase connection where you can, the more your child will be equipped to handle those shaming moments that are outside your sphere of influence."

"When we sacrifice relationship building in favor of control tactics, our children may age, but in many ways, they developmentally remain toddlers, because they miss out on years of building the emotion regulation, coping skills, intrinsic motivation, and inhibition of desires that are necessary for life success."

The safer and more secure my girls feel with me and Stacie, and the wider the range of feelings they can feel within our relationship, the safer and more secure their adult relationships will be.

Two Things Are True

Two Things Are True

SCIENCE

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Who thus define it, say they more or less / Than this, that happiness is happiness?

Being effective - changing things, influencing things, making things happen - is one of our brain's fundamental needs. If we lose our ability to control things, we become unhappy, helpless, hopeless, and depressed. The feeling of control - real or illusory - is one of the wellsprings of mental health. Impact is rewarding. Mattering makes us happy.

Loving it so far!