Duffy > Recent Status Updates

Need to take a break for Mother’s Day.

Like if Eileen Myles was French and had a kid.

This book provides a feeling similar to talking to someone else about their hallucinations. It’s a particular kind of comfort. But I wish the poems were organized differently, so each could be its own? It feels like they’re running into each other or are too similar or something.

“For me, oftentimes transness is about knowing things about what’s going on with your feelings”.

From interview w Andrea Long Chu in Vulture.

Reminded me of Detransition, Baby not just because of pregnancy but also how the book is as much about the city itself as it is the characters. I did think the baby plot was a bit much/ too similar though.

I love London and I do not want to live there. This book reminds me of that.

This book is life changing but I really don’t like how 12 step programs are positioned in conflict w harm reduction.

“twelve-step view of complete “powerlessness” during active addiction is falsified by the demonstrable progress toward health seen in programs like needle exchange”

Seems like manipulation of AA lingo. “Powerlessness” doesn’t mean hopelessness. It means things need to change.

“Her courtroom’s only decorations were an American flag, a standard-issue large, round office clock, and a gold-colored but obviously plastic “In God We Trust” sign. Although drug war money had flown copiously to police for arrests and to expand jails and prisons, funding for the courts to process the increasing caseload had been neglected, and it showed.”

This made me laugh.

“‘It’s a process he calls ideological interpellation or hailing—we are hailed by a text and the process is akin to hearing a shout in the street. The text hails us and we turn round in recognition. So reading a book—picking up Junky—it was that sense that someone’s calling you and I had no other ambitions than to do drugs.’”

Peter McDermott on Althusser.

Eh, feels like it’s written for cis people and non-alcoholics so far which is disappointing but I’m curious about what’s to come.

“Even family members were encouraged to reject us: that would supposedly help us to “hit bottom.” In reality, it meant that many of us died alone.”

I’m embarrassed to say I don’t really know a lot about the relationship between 12 step programs and harm reduction. There’s something about the bootstrapping of 12 step that feels wrong but I haven’t figured it out yet.

Too emo, have to pause.

I’m realizing how I’ve considered myself to have “outgrown” disability when I stopped spending so much time in hospitals and how strongly I hold onto an idea of bootstrapping through life (in all regards). Disturbingly, it’s another instance of when my values misalign with the way I see and treat myself. This book is helping me find alignment, gentleness and acceptance.

Thinking about (mis)diagnosis, the DSM, SUD as a disability, online quizzes. Liking it a lot so far.

Getting the trans energy already

This is meant to be read each day over the course of a year, but I am just listening to it in one go. Good so far, very gentle, which is nice.

I was skeptical, but I am enjoying it so far.

Why do I keep reading books like these? And why do I love them so?

Feels (too?) familiar. Sometimes I forget I grew up on a council estate because it feels like many lifetimes ago, but this book is reminding me of it. Also, I want to go to Scotland.

Keep having to pause because I haven't read academic language in a while.