Alex McCullough > Recent Status Updates

(four calling birds, three french hens - 5) OH BERT!!!!!!!!

(charades - 4.75) i’m so ready for christmas

(agnes of iowa - 4) onyez.. at her big age….

(community life - 4.25) dw girl i love reading and hate politicians too

(dance in america - 4.5) i’m never going to get that raccoon analogy out of my head i fear

(which is more than i can say about some people - 4) IRELAND MENTIONED!! ☘️☘️☘️

(willing - 4) the evita joke made me laugh aloud, alone in my apartment, like an actual freak

(do-over - 4.5) by far theeee most engrossing story in this collection. got sucked right the fuck in

(volunteers are shining stars - 4.5) ashamed to admit this story was definitely written about me

greek men used to kiss and touch each other and now they’re hypebeasts and worship vivek ramaswamy

(the prairie wife - 5) kaeli mae you can’t hide forever…

(off the record - 5) a second-hand embarrassment story at the right time could cure just about anything

(a regular couple - 3.5) just a big fat misery circus

(plausible deniability - 4) rip mark and william and libby you would’ve loved wife swap

(bad latch - 4) cabbage leaves…

(vox clamantis in deserto - 5) *shudders* *twitches* *rips off eyelashes* *tears at walls* *beats chest* *vomits* *shits self* *peels off skin*

ohhh you only had coffee and a cigarette for breakfast, holden? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite bella hadid?

(the world has many butterflies - 4) my judgmental ass:

(gender studies - 4.25) i’ve never been more excited to keep reading a collection

she holden my caulfield till i um… uhh…

eldest daughter syndrome final boss

no one is matching elio’s freak

mr. wu - 3 stars. gross as fuck

“older man” romance and the “older man” in question is twenty-four… i’m sick

bettering myself - 4 stars. a diet coke really can be life-changing

i am so totally loving this

briefly - 4.5 stars, almost just a 4 until that final insanely gorgeous paragraph

like a cloud, lighter than air - 5 stars, would die for helen i think

aren’t we lucky - 5 stars

at the time - 4 stars, me asf w my indecisive memory problems ass