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Where the hell is Ben

Chapter 26: Where they finally f***.
Perhaps I just don't care about these characters or story, but I'm pulling this face ':\" listening. (Switched from reading to audio to force myself through).

Never trust a quote on the front saying books are 'funny'. This is quietly devastating. Quiet, in that Matilda often fades into the background of her own life. It's relatable that loneliness and isolation can be enticing., that purging your body (with specific rule following) can feel like control, and saying nothing to rupture the complex family dynamics is easier. Wait maybe I am struggling bc its too real. TBC

"I'm rupturing the collective stoicism, the shared self-protective mechanism, the silent agreement that we all stay strong while we're here visiting the prison. The sight of tired mothers and their kids, thoughts about all the empty chairs at dinner tables where fathers, uncles and brothers were supposed to sit. The years without touch, without ibtimacy; of seeing your children grow in weekly, one hour increments."

"Women are far more likely to attempt. Women don't actually end up completing their suicides because they attempt them in far less violent ways. Women worry about family members or loved ones finding them and being traumatised by what they see...thinking about what an emotional load women carry every day because even at the end of their ropes they can't bear the thought of upsetting other people? It breaks my heart."

I never shy away from complex characters and complicated mother/daughter relationships, but this one is tough. The consistent fat shaming passed through generations, Betty and Betty's mother before her, exhausting and relatable.