Pearl E > Recent Status Updates

Maybe it wasn't a failure of imagination or feminism or will.
This state of believing that something was wrong with me around rela-tonships was something I shared with my mother like brown eyes and a monal fear of dental procedures. Maybe I could stop trying to outrun it.
Maybe I didn't have to hide mv grief and confusion from her anymore.

I learned the meaning of the word bittersweet, the acid taste of loss and the honey of hope in one bright fruit.

I would never shake off the sense that something should be there, where the missing limb had always been. There was a bole in my life, a great gaping cavity that could never be filled.

The death of his mother had made him aware that his time on earth was limited. Of course he had known that before, but now it was brought home to him; and it made him ask himself if the life he led was the one he really wanted. He surprised himself with his answer to Barney's question. "I want what they had," he said, looking back at the grave where both parents lay. "A lifelong partnership."

I may yet go through anguish in hell for my sin. But if I had to live that time again I would do the same, to end Margery's ordeal. I preferred to suffer myself than to know that her agony continued. Her well-being was more important to me than my own.
I have learned, during the course of a long life, that that is the meaning of love.

Their care for her when she was a child had been such as they might have shown for a foal that promised to turn into a useful carthorse one day. Tears came to her eyes when she thought nostalgically of the childhood time when she had thought they really loved her.

"Brecknock and I are friends," she said. "He's kind to me and I do everything I can to please him. And we have four wonderful children. I am happy." She paused, and Margery waited for the answer to her question.
At last Susannah said: "But I know there is another kind of happiness, the mad ecstasy of adoring someone and being adored in return."

He moved with surprising speed and grabbed her upper arms. His
grip was strong. "Women like to be mastered," he said.
"Who told you that? Believe me, I don't!"

Annet went on: "Does he eye younger women? Does he ever sneak away from you? How many nights have you slept apart in the last twenty years—two? Three? Can't you see that he will never love another woman as long as he lives?"

She smiled. "I assume you already know about the good parts: feeling Loved and adored; knowing there's one person in the world who will always be on your side; getting into bed every night with someone strong and tender who wants to **** you ... that's happiness, for me."

Who doesn’t want to be loved? Anyone who has been cast off knows the pain of it

Healing rarely comes without difficulty. It's painful at times and terrifying, too. It means letting go of narratives that hold you back and harm you. It means letting a part of yourself die so that another part of you can be reborn. Not everyone wants to get better. And that's okay. Some people have an identity tied to sickness.
Others fear true wellness because it is the unknown and the unknown is unpredictable.

I wondered if every girl grew up to be a stranger to herself

I wanted to be a woman who takes a man into her bed after she had drawn the shades and locked the door.

Aside from plays and entertainment, we are, in the end, wrestling with ourselves to settle the paradox of absence and presence. Where is the person I care about? Who am I now that they have left me? Who am I now that I am divorced, unemployed, broke? Who am I now that my loved one has a terminal illness? How many children do I tell people I have if one was stillborn or disappeared, or refuses to see me?

Here's how one common weight control story goes. We think we want change for a while, and then something pushes us toward trying something new. So we grab on to an eating plan we've heard about, or a "lifestyle change." We get a lift, we feel better. That sense of "control" reenters. It's a relief. It's measurable—we know whether or not we are
"doing it right."

Stopped right before the liver transplant for Marion, unsure about the specific page

Mny couples will stay married and sexually faithful long after their hearts have strayed far apart. Intimacy thrives when our desire for connection matches our willingness to contront the patterns that get in the way of it.

All we’ve managed to find out about the boundaries of the universe is that it hasn’t got any, and all we know about God is that we don’t know anything.

You're so aware of how you affect your chi-dren. I heard a pediatric doctor say on television that a generation ago, parents used to come to him and say 'Our child's wetting the bed, what's wrong with him?" Now, a generation later, they come to him and say Our child's wetting the bed, what's wrong with us? You take the blame for everything."

Because no matter how much money anyone earns, they still lie awake at the end of the month worrying about money...because everyone is living beyond their means. So not even really rich people ever feel really rich, because in the end, the only thing you can buy is a more expensive version of something you've already got. With borrowed money.

You can do a millio.. things right, but if you do one single thing wrong you're forever that parent who was checking his phone in the park when your child was hit in the head by a swing. We don't take our eyes off them for days at a time, but then you read just one text message and it's as if all your best moments never happened.

These are the moments in life when a deep, often sudden recognition rings within us—that we are alive and connected to something vast. Maybe it's a conversation with a friend that stirs a knowing deep within you, a powerful piece of music that resonates so strongly it brings tears, or standing in awe before the vastness of a breathtaking landscape.

What I learned in my clinical training, however, is that narcissism is not a fullness of self, but a profound absence of self. In this sense, we all have some measure of narcissism within us?

Reflect on how you approach or shy away from relational tension.
Do you rush in with certainty, convinced that you already know the other person's motivations? Does conflict make you anxious, leading you to avoid it at all costs? Do you wait for someone to strike first and then fight dirty from a place of victimization?

In his romantic relationships, Peter gravitated toward strong, muscular men. The more masculine the partner, the more secure he felt in all areas of his life. His identity, once marked by vulnerability, was now mirrored to him by the strength and admiration of the man at his side.

Another helpful practice is synchronized breathing with your part-ner. By matching your breathing patterns, you create a rhythm that fosters unity and body connection right from the start. This synchronicity not only demotes anxiety but also promotes shared pleasure and emotional closeness.

Studies show that when our prefrontal cortex (the
thinking brain) accurately labels what we're feeling, our brain releases soothing neurochemicals like oxytocin down into the limbic system.
When we accurately name distressing emotions, we simultaneously begin to tame them.

What we need the most amid personal challenges is hospitality. We often believe that personal change will come through persistence-by pushing harder, seeking insights, and doing more. But often, that persistence is actually leading us further away from the core issues we need to address. Outsourcing our needs to others and relying on willpower are tenuous solutions.

A key step in moving Wholeness is developing a story bank of traumas you've experi enced. The process of recalling these adverse childhood experiences will be different for each of us. Some people have vivid flashes of memories etched into their minds.