Helmi K > Recent Status Updates

put me down where the greenery stings
i can hear them singing
to love me is to suffer me
and i believe it…

”'In fact, it was a sort of work of art.’
'You've already said that’, she says in irritation. 'No: it was... a duty. You had to transform privileged situations into perfect moments. It was a moral question. Yes, you can laugh if you like: a moral question.’
I was not laughing at all.”

”’It isn't good for me either to stare at things too long. I look at them to find out what they are, then I have to turn my eyes quickly away.’
'But why?'
’They disgust me.’”

”The real sea is cold and black, full of animals; it crawls underneath this thin green film which is designed to deceive people.”

”’It is difficult, Monsieur, very difficult to be a man.’ ’Excuse me,' I say, 'but in that case I'm not quite sure of being a man: I had never found that very difficult. It always seemed to me that you only had to let yourself go.’”

”I will be as brutal and misshapen as a rock, I will be as light and vague as something felt and not understood, I will surpass myself in waves”

FROM THE DEPTHS I CALL THEE …

”Dear God, how sweetly she sank into the incomprehension of herself. And how, even more so, she was able to let herself go with the firm, soft ebb. And return. She would reunite with herself one day, without the hard, solitary words... She would weld herself and be once again the mute brusque strong wide unmoving blind living sea.”

”’You promise too much ... All the possibilities that you offer people, within themselves, with a look ... I don't know.’
And just as she hadn't acted conceited or belittled when he had joked the first time about the useless magnificence, now she didn't take delight in Otávio's humility. He looked at her. Once again he hadn't known how to connect with that woman. Once again she had won.”

TOO FLEETING TO ALLOW ITSELF TO BE REVEALED

— Otherwise she’d be, like herself, almost ashamed of so much happiness, she’d stay vigilant at its door, protecting from the cold light that which couldn't be scorched in order to stay alive.”

”How inexperienced Joana seemed. She spoke of love with such simplicity and clarity because doubtless nothing had been revealed to her through it yet. She hadn't fallen into its shadows, she still hadn't felt its profound and secret transtormations —

”It occurred to Dr. Lecter in the moment that with all his knowledge and intrusion, he could never entirely predict her, or own her at all. He could feed the caterpillar, he could whisper through the chrysalis; what hatched out followed its own nature and was beyond him. He wondered if she had the .45 on her leg beneath the gown.”

”If I saw you every day, forever, I’d remember this time.”

river

snow

”Tiedättekö mitä, Katri, sanoi Anna ja kääntyi, minä jotenkin pidän teistä enemmän silloin kun te nauratte kuin silloin kun te hymyilette.”

”My secret is life. I tell no one I’m alive.”

”Do let us have some tea! We are as dry as fishes!”

”—to realize there are parts of herself that she misses, then win them back and make them fit the woman she's become, who doesn't live for herself anymore but who lives through the person trapped in the body of a baby girl who smiles and wants her and has her wrapped around her little finger with a force that can't be matched, because it belongs to the stars and the earth. In other words, to no one.”

”I hold her like I want to get her drunk and make her forget love and all the coins in her newfound treasure. Rain begins to fall. Life tears open like a wound that rots and bubbles. If anyone talks to me about happiness, I swear to God I'll break their face.”

”mun on ollu pakko vaan todeta et meissä on jotain samaa”

”eihän kukaan joka oikeesti suree pysty pitää mitään puhetta”

”Go on in any case living.”

”They look at one another again, tired, and tender, affectionate again. Pitying themselves and one another. The old fond familiarity in her look, without which he thinks he could not live. Yes. When he saw her waiting for him at the gate: to encounter not only her, the beauty of her nearness renewed, but also himself, the self that is loved by her, and therefore worthy of his own respect.”

”When I look back, I can't believe how much things I never discussed with him. And even when we did talk, nothing got written down. It's all just memory, and what if the memories fade?”

”I feel like maybe I still don't accept it. The idea that my dad is gone. I don't really get how it could be the case, if you see what I mean.
I think I do, she says.
Like he just sort of exited from time, and we all have to keep going, within time.”

”…he feels a tender wounding gratitude, a sense of blessing, that he exists simply in this body, in this mind, that he is himself, this one person, rich in priceless resources which to his conscious mind remain almost infinitely unknown.”

”She lets out a trembling kind of laugh. Well, if there is a God, she says, I'm sure he loves you very much. He lowers his eyes. Yeah, I can feel that sometimes, he says. Like when I'm with you, I can. If you don't mind me saying that.”

”I actually hate you. I've hated you my entire life. Without stirring, without looking around to see whether the other diners or the staff are watching them, Peter just answers: I know.”