junie > Recent Status Updates

The class teacher in the public school has the best view in re­gard to the child. He can know more than others what is going on if he looks rightly (p. 180)

If any one were in a place where he was always criticized, had bad school reports, and lost the hope of ever catching up, he would not like the place and would try to escape from it. And so we should not be upset when we see such children staying away from school (p. 179)

Good starter for those concerned in the negative impact of tobacco in people's lives

“And we don't want to mix up what people do—the trigger—with the cause of anger.”

“I'm feeling angry because I am telling myself __________,” and then to look for the kind of life-alienated thinking going on inside our head that is the cause of our anger.”

“we are not really in touch with any feelings within ourselves, because our full attention is on the other person”

So, I think, Rosenberg values being considerate and selfless.

“NVC is built on the premise that anger is the result of life-alienated ways of evaluating what is happening to us, in the sense that it isn't directly connected to what we need or what the people around us need”

This view is oddly similar with that of Adler.

"The ideal school should serve as a mediator between the home and the wide world of reality, and should be a place not merely for book knowledge, but a place in which the knowledge and art of living should be taught."
p. 12

"People blame the school in such cases, although the school has here merely brought out the latent defects in the home
education."
p. 12

postponing reading this book.

“Not being allowed to meet your partner’s kids can be very frustrating, but if she is also able to talk about the subject, listen to your frustration, and find other ways to let you into her life, it doesn’t necessarily indicate an inability to be close.”

I think this example sheds light to toxic people we should not date, not necessarily avoidant.

“It is the knowledge that you are backed by someone who is supportive and whom you can rely on with 100 percent certainty and turn to in times of need. A secure base is a prerequisite for a child’s ability to explore, develop, and learn.”

I read Adler and support in his ideas, and i don't think this will work. This premise needs further explanation and requires more researches to back it up.

"“In the 1940s experts warned that “coddling” would result in needy and insecure children who would become emotionally unhealthy and maladjusted adults... Ainsworth’s and Bowlby’s studies made it clear that the connection between infant and caretaker was as essential for the child’s survival as food and water."

This paradigm is different from that of Adler.

“Our feelings and behaviors in relationships today are not very different from those of our early ancestors”

This book discusses behavior under the genetic lens, i suppose. Perhaps it’s also one of those “middle-ground” books which address a phenomenon under genetic and sociological lens. This book promises so much within few pages, i’m interested to see how it will go.

Wait, before i read, i would like to express my judgement haha. This is the type of book i don’t usually embark on unless it is recommended to me—and this book was indeed a recommendation from a youtuber i follow. The last book i read was Nonviolent Communication by Rosenberg. NVC catapults my interest further into “odd” topics i usually evade. Regardless, the writing is okay so far. Finger crossed 🤞

End. Can't wait to jump on the next one.

MBR talks a bit about anger management, which is interesting to me. I’m thinking of reading his other books, perhaps just like Adler, he will have more impact on my life that i’d expect.

I read many books but usually i forget to update it here.

“Our challenge then, when we are doing something that is not enriching life, is to evaluate ourselves moment by moment in a
way that inspires change both:
(1) in the direction of where we would like go, and
(2) out of respect and compassion for ourselves, rather than
out of self-hatred, guilt or shame.” (p. 132)

“We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.” —104

Our challenge then, when we are doing something that is not enriching life, is to evaluate ourselves moment by moment in a
way that inspires change both:
(1) in the direction of where we would like go, and
(2) out of respect and compassion for ourselves, rather than
out of self-hatred, guilt or shame.

p. 132

As it turns out, being mindful about what we want from someone and how it should be delivered is important.

I find Rosenberg’s example to be clear, specifically the woman and the co-worker. I have been trying to apply this method in my relationship and it’s been nice. We don’t fight as much haha.

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts.

Some people have told me that expressing feeling in formal settings is bad. I would want to hear what other people think of this.

Part of practicing NVC is observing. Rosenberg formulates a formula for NVC: observe, feel, need, and request.

I have been trying to apply this method in communication but I forget the formula when i talk to someone directly. The poem that Rosenberg writes is nice. I will continue reading this.

Anyway, i was thinking of leaving a comment on her video, an advice of some sort but i ceased doing so. I remember when i was younger, people would advice me when i ran into troubles. Instead of feeling relieved, i would feel misunderstood, annoyed, and angry. Now that i look at it, i can see that i was naive. About the tiktok girl, well, sometimes it’s best to say nothing.

I remember a girl on tiktok. She made a video about people going to college. The video pokes fun at jobless college graduates and compares these graduates to people who don’t go to college but are still able to make money.