Oliver Zelman > Recent Status Updates

“All she said, really, was that this Seymour, in her opinion, was a latent homosexual…”

The Glass’s are just like me—gay and retarded

“I was not only twenty-three but a conspicuously retarded twenty-three.”

“If you have a young girl lying in a room crying and mumbling to herself for forty-eight hours, you don’t go to them for any answers.”

I ❤️ Franny

Swann is the type of mf to think his therapist actually cares about him

“Though Odette might subtract from her confession all the essential part, there remained in accessory part something Swann never imagined, that crushed him with its newness, and would permit him to change the terms of the problem of his jealousy. And these admissions he could no longer forget. His soul bore them among, cast them aside, cradled them, like dead bodies. And it was poisoned by them.”

“At this time of life one has already been wounded more than once by the darts of love; it no longer evolves by itself, obeying its own incomprehensible and fatal laws, before our passive and astonished hearts. We come to its aid, we falsify it by memory and by suggestion. Recognizing one of its symptoms, we remember and re-create the rest.”

“At the time of life, tinged already with disenchantment, which Swann was approaching, when a man can content himself with being in love for the pleasure of loving without expecting too much in return, this mutual sympathy, it is no longer as in early youth the goal towards which love inevitably tends, is nevertheless bound to it by so strong an association of ideas that it may well become the cause of love”

“‘I have been loved,’ she said, ‘by something strange, and it has forgotten me.’”

“How much of our life do we put into a life that we may be dammed? Then she was back stumbling through the house again, listening for a footstep in the court, for a way to leave and not to go, trying to absorb, with the intensity of her ear, any sound that would have made me suspicious, yet hoping I would break my heart in safety; she need that assurance. Matthew, was it a sin that I believed her?”

right…

“Don’t you know your holding on is her only happiness and so her sole misery.”

AHHHHH

“I know these days are offering me only murder for my future. It is not just the creeping fingers of the cold that dissuade me from action, and allow me to accept the hypocritical hope that there may be some solution.”

It kinda reminds me of that Rilke quote on accepting the unresolved longing in your heart

“But I love her and her silence is propaganda for sainthood.”

“He met Diane at Bennington” well that’s not a good start…

We might have coupled
In the bed-ridden monopoly of the moment
Or broken flesh with one another
At the profane communion table

“Why is the measure of love loss?”