Nikki > Recent Status Updates

These desks had so many names, hairy penises, and doodles carved in them.

You never know the size of hurt that’s in people’s hearts, or what they’re liable to do about it, given the chance. This big type of hurting was the principal cause for prayer.

Giant pork sword.

Small jaw for a kid or a lady, big for a man, bigger for a superhero. Which is why lady superheroes are dead tricky.

Jesusing could hold on a minute.

There was no outside anywhere.

Spelled with a silent ‘as you can plainly see, dumbass’.

Living on for more Seagrams-and-nerve-pill fiestas?

Swap-Out in all his derpness could chop onions like a ninja.

They passed out the brains, he thought they said trains and he missed his.

What it adds up to is, everything hurts.

God bless America and all that.

The momentum that catapulted me away had lost its inertia.

R/AmItheasshole

Sometimes I felt I was roaming this earth as a ghost, seeing everything and feeling nothing.

When you find someone you like the destination is suddenly wherever they are.

Go get your damn forehead kiss.

And get so much of it. The car will think it’s a person in the front seat and the seatbelt reminder will keep going off.

If I didn’t play, I didn’t lose.

Because when you’re in love, you do hard things.

“You think we’re ready for Uno? That game has torn entire families apart.

It wasn’t a threat, it was a promise.

“Unhealed trauma is a crack. Then when life gets cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks.

Mom was in a unicorn floatie in the pool.

“That’s just what my fae does when I leave it unattended.

“Water? That stuff that killed everyone on the Titanic?

“The FBI should hire more women.

J-named men are the worst.

The boat didn’t have a canopy over it. Like an ancient, nautical convertible.

None of the other stuff even mattered if I was just gonna come off as a fucking weirdo.

“Please. Take advantage.

Always choose empathy.

Sometimes the best way to show love or be kind is to meet them where they are.

“Maybe home isn’t a place. Maybe it’s a person.

“Xfinity needs to go to college.

“I tore out the last five pages of the book he was reading.

And while she was cradled in my arms, she muttered something about teleporting.

I was always starved when it came to her. I lived off crumbs, never getting full.

“We’re all a little broken, a mosaic. There are parts of us that are colorful and dark and jagged and beautiful.

My high road was currently under construction.

He’d even got me fire sauce.

I liked being alone with her.

Love shows up.

If you’re with someone who doesn’t speak your language, you’ll spend a lifetime having to translate your soul.

I’d leave my comfort zone. I had to. Because that’s where she was. And for her I would go anywhere. I still wanted to orbit around her, even if she never wanted me to land

“Because Dr. D sounds like a penis thing.

This year is going to be my villain origin story, I just know it.

There were times when I just wanted to be pissed off, careening forward on the strength of my pure rage.

The thumps chased me, each one like a gunshot to my heels.

Different people had different energy demands.

I had to wonder with awe and amusement if she had bewitched me, if I was under some spell.

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not.

Maybe our past don’t define us, but inform us.

‘Old people still fuck.’ It’s her best-selling piece to date.

“Almost is always the hardest, isn’t it?”

“Maybe happiness is sometimes.”

“First you will do, then you will understand.”

‘Let’s edit your story.’

Sometimes “drama”, no matter how unpleasant, can be a form of self-medication, a way to calm ourselves down by avoiding the crisis brewing inside.

Reacting vs responding = reflexive vs chosen

I almost hate being in too good of a mood on therapy days – what’s there to talk about?

When we give our minds space to wander, they take us to the most unexpected and interesting places.

The answer to an unasked question is always no.

You are not the best person to talk to you about you right now.

Most things worth doing are difficult.

Happiness (T) = wo + w1 E3-1 Yi CR, + พ.E)-1 y V+ ws E-e T RPi

He loves dairy and she loves him, so she never moves.

Repertoire of relational themes.

Sometimes the only thing to do is yell, “Fuck!”

It’s ok not to know.

Your feelings don’t have to mesh with what you think they should be.

He switches his crossed legs from right over left to left over right, something therapists do when their legs start to fall asleep.

We are creating the future in our minds every day. If we spend the present trying to fix the past or control the future, we remain stuck in place, in perpetual regret.

Welcome to Holland!

The most important factor is your experience of feeling felt.

People often mistake numbness for nothingness, it isn’t the absence of feelings; it’s a response to being overwhelmed by too many feelings.

Each patient is simply a snapshot, a person captured in a particular moment. You in that fraction of time, but not you in your entirety.

You’re going to feel pain but you don’t have to suffer so much.

We can’t have change without loss.

Fireflies love the dark too.

Sometimes we are the cause of our difficulties.

But if silence can be heard, tonight’s silence sounds different.

Will you see the human in my being?

“The only way out is through.”

Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way. A lot can happen in the space of single step.

She no longer sees life as a long, linear ladder with the beginning, middle, and end. Instead, she considers how life is like a spiraling trail up a mountain. Each circling lap represents a learning cycle, the same lesson at a slightly higher elevation.

Afterward, Wren realizes she herself is the mountain she’s been climbing all along.

Definitions of right and wrong, good and bad, light and dark become more nebulous and subjective in uncommon circumstances.

What remained strong in the deep, the hard times, was love as an effort, a doing, a conscious act of will.

“Oh, that’s a God thing.”

The atmospheric shimmering of greatest happiness was theirs to borrow, not keep.

She is one of those kids who is imperious to cold, hunger, and time.

Or, after time, is every relationship just a little bit broken?

Fearlessness like jumping into a body of water without first testing its temperature.

“We’re not feeding the monkey.

The main ingredient in transformation was not magic. It was pain.

“When they teach you that matter is not created or destroyed, only rearranged? Maybe it’s us.

I and J belonged together as either siblings or longtime lovers.

“You, who can make a spreadsheet about almost anything.

He also married her vast unknowns.

Wren wrote her dream: A Medium-Sized Life.

It was that she knew how easily they could fail each other.

He appreciated organization as a concept but never remembered to practice it.

Nearing age 35, she finally realized the questions would never end but rather, transmute and graft themselves into different personal topics.

“Daniel, I do not believe that God had nothing better to do today than trap me in your driveway.”

Love follows you. It goes where you go. It does what it wants.

“I measured the Patrón with my heart.”

“She was his nonnegotiable.”

Sometimes family is found. I’d found mine in him.

The universe had dipped its snow globe again.

“Dick pics are community property unless you’re staking a claim on the guy who owns it. You’ve got a little flag that you just planted on Daniel’s peen, it’s waving in the breeze and it says Ali on it.”

“Give up some of your fucks and see how much easier things are.”

The remnants of small moments in her life that stayed with her forever. Proof of a thumbprint on her soul.

“We’re all strong-ass women until a smoke alarm starts chirping at 3 AM.”

It was like finding out a plant you killed was alive after all and just needed water.

“Grace costs you nothing.”

Fuck the quiche.

“Do you understand that I don’t care how big or small this world is, that you are the center of mine?

Small, slight, unimportant Joan. Just one person of five billion, on a small planet orbiting a small star, in a humble galaxy, one of billions of galaxies. She is so insignificant and yet, look what God had given her. Look at what no one will ever be able to take away.

Maybe they had not asked for too much.

But to love her was to be always saying goodbye to the girl she used to be and falling in love again with the girl she was becoming.

“Happiness is so hard to come by. I don’t understand why anyone would begrudge anyone else for managing to find some of it.”

The rules of society came for everyone eventually.

Day in and day out, the Earth keeps spinning and revolving and sailing through the Milky Way.

She could feel the lightness in her head that would feel heavy tomorrow.

I want to spend my energy thinking not of how my actions might be frowned upon by a man in the sky, but how my actions affect every living and non-living thing around me. Life is God.

When you’re flying a plane, you can’t see people on the ground. From up there, everyone is so alike, they have so much in common, and they can’t see it.

She’d been surprised to find that Coors Light was delicious.

“When somebody’s too smooth, there’s nothing to grab on to. Now that you got a little edge to you, I can hang on.

In a crisis of this magnitude, you are best served by evaluating second by second.

“Nobody is one thing all the time.”

“When we learn about the constellations, we also learn how earlier generations made sense of the world.”

“You have to have something on the line, for it to be called character.”

When you look out at the sky, the farther you can see, the farther back you are looking in time. The space between you and the star is time. It is to witness time unfolding.

The hum of the wind drowned out everything except the sound of her own voice in her mind, which was such a gift. She had always been her greatest friend and guide.

It is also the relief I feel that those stars are immovable. We can get it right or get it wrong, love, and lose love, and still the Summer Triangle will point south. And in that way, I know everything will be some type of okay.

For such an adventurous job, it can be achingly routine. There are no cowboys here.

“And I’m scared, but in a way I’ve never really been before.”

But I also believe in it because I want to believe in it. I want to spend my energy thinking not of how my actions might be frowned upon by a man in the sky, but how my actions affect every living and non-living thing around me. Life is God.

“When you’re flying a plane, you can’t see people on the ground. From up there, everyone is so alike, they have so much in common, and they can’t see it.”

In a crisis of this magnitude, you are best served by evaluating second by second.

“Nobody is one thing all the time.”

“When we learn about the constellations, we also learn how earlier generations made sense of the world.”

Joan could feel the lightness in her head that would feel heavy tomorrow.