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I maybe read 416 pages in one day

“Gaunt knew Ellwood would probably never love him again. He had accepted it long ago.”

“I think, that if he gave me the smallest hope— I should wait forever.”

“Ellwood stared out of the window, and Gaunt stared at Ellwood.”

“All Gaunt could do was be patient, and wait, and hope that the traces of tenderness Ellwood sometimes showed him were signs that he would one day love Gaunt again.

“Some long-dead poet must have written the lines with which to answer, but Ellwood no longer knew them.”

“It hadn’t ever changed. Gaunt had always looked at him like that, as if Ellwood’s flaws were qualities.”

“I know you’re fine,” said Ellwood frowning. “But are you all right?”

“I’ll be nineteen in July. Older than Gaunt ever was. All my life I’ve been younger than him. Isn’t it funny?”

“Poor Elly, he thought, as he fell. It’s so much harder to be left behind.”

“It wasn’t the time for Shakespeare. How painfully typical of Ellwood not to know that.”

“Ellwood smiled, and a sudden, dry bleakness spread over Gaunt’s heart as he thought of Hercules, and Hector, and all the heroes in myth who found happiness briefly, only for it not to be the end of the story.”

“Gaunt had closed his eyes. His face lost its hardened-captain look. He was only eighteen again.”

“Ellwood wanted to punch him. He wanted to make him bleed, and then tend to the wounds.”

“He looked at Ellwood as if he had never seen anything like him before.”

“Gaunt watched him. Gaunt was always watching him, as if Ellwood was something important he wanted to remember.”

“You sit tight in France, I’m coming for you.”

“If something dreadful was being done to Gaunt, he wanted it done to him as well.”

“Soon I will have to go back. I am terrified. I wish to God I could see you again before I die. Yours, Gaunt.”

“What a waste Sandys’ last days had been, thought Gaunt. Pathetically attempting to overcome a grief that would never have time to heal.”

“Death is owed to all of us.”

“You are here, question?!”

“I drift off to sleep. It feels wrong to sleep without someone watching.”

“You will miss me, question? I will miss you. You are friend.”

He points back to my bunk. “Sleep.” “Yes, Mom.” 🙄

“Well, you’re not alone anymore, buddy,” I say. “Neither of us are.”

“Every night, I sleep in the tunnel. He watches. I don’t know why. We haven’t talked about it yet. We’ve been too busy with other stuff. But he really doesn’t want me to sleep without him watching. Even if I want to catch a quick nap.” 🥺🥺

“I am not okay. I am… maybe like my mother.”

“They think I fell on purpose.” :(