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i think i should start taking year long pauses between reading these books because of amount of pain fitz causes me. love him but he makes me feel like i have my head inside a plastic bag

"for today twenty years have passed since I’ve loved Ivan, and it’s been one year and three months and thirty-one days on this 31st of the month since I’ve known him," you know i dreamed about you for 29 years before i saw you

"After that there was really nothing more that could happen." [redacted]

This child, to my memory, really lives in a setting of beauty and misery that no words can translate

"Implicit in this mimesis of restorability is the belief that catastrophes are themselves (not simply narratively but actually) reconstructable" we'll keep trying