Riyah > Recent Status Updates

“Nobody said anything. The music was extraordinary.
The sensation of it was physical, like warm water being washed over a wound, agonising and cleansing and curative.”

“Normal people say, I can't imagine feeling so bad I'd genuinely want to die. I do not try and explain that it isn't that you want to die. It is that you know you are not supposed to be alive, feeling a tiredness that powders your bones, a tiredness with so much fear. The unnatural fact of living is something you must eventually fix.”

“An observer to my marriage would think I have made no effort to be a good or better wife. Or, seeing me that night, that I must have set out to be this way and achieved it after years of concentrated effort. They could not tell that for most of my adult life and all of my marriage I have been trying to become the opposite of myself.”

“The truth is fluid. There is always another way to spin the story, another wrench to throw into the narrative. I have learned this now, if nothing else.”

She truly is just a white woman at the end of the day an extremely unhinged one
The dramatics of the confession and fight with Candice are insane like girl was about to justify murder??

“The wildest thing about all this is that even now I cannot stop composing. I’m trying to funnel this awfulness into something Lovely.
Perhaps, if I can capture all my fears and constrain them safely on the page, this will rob them of their power. Don't all the ancient myths tell us that we gain control over a thing once we name it?”

"It's going to be fine," he says. "These things always feel like the end of the world when they're happening. But they're not. Social media is such a tiny, insular space. Once you close your screen, no one gives a fuck. And you shouldn't, either, all right?"

“I can't help but feel that there is some greater, karmic reason why my writing flow has returned. This feels like redemption. No-like absolution. For if I can write this thing on my own, if I can turn this whole horrible mess into a beautiful story, then ... well, it won't change what I've done. But it will assign artistic value to it all. It will be a way of revealing the truth without saying it.” Let’s see

Stopping isn't an option. I need to create. I want to move people's hearts. I want the world to wait with bated breath for what I will say next. I want my words to last forever. I want to be eternal, permanent; when I'm gone, I want to leave behind a mountain of pages that scream, Juniper Song was here, & she told us what was on her mind. Only I don't know what it is I want to say anymore. I don't know if I ever did.

She did it again girl cannot help herself, but this moved me:

“But I can't quit the one thing that gives meaning to my life.
Writing is the closest thing we have to real magic. Writing is creating something out of nothing, is opening doors to other lands.
Writing gives you power to shape your own world when the real one hurts too much. To stop writing would kill me.“

Shit is blowing up now and maybe coming back to bite her in the ass but who would June be without her delusions and warped version of reality but she is right about Twitter feeling like realer than real life

Lots of BTS mentions Okayy can’t fake influence they are iconic

The GUILT after the interaction with the sweet old Chinese man “make sure they remember us” omg I would be SICK and run away too but girlie is gonna keep this up and justify somehow

“This is what I love most about writing—it offers us endless opportunities to reinvent ourselves, and the stories we tell about ourselves. It lets us acknowledge every aspect of our heritage and history."
I never lied. That's important.“

This girl is so shameless in her justifications and it’s so funny

Breathless at her own audacity

first chapter was a ride, jealousy actually makes you crazy esp the inner monologue in June’s head, death by pancakes omg poor Athena I do hope we get a little bit more on her in the book

“…until next November 9th when I get down on one knee and give you the most book-worthy marriage proposal in history." She slaps me in the chest. "That was a huge spoiler, Ben! Did you not learn about spoiler alerts during your reading binge?" I grin as I lower my mouth to hers. "Spoiler alert. They lived
happily ever after."
And then I kiss her.
And it's a twelve.
Not the end
Far from it .

"I didn't get it for your father, or even because of your father. I got it mostly for myself, because I knew with one hundred percent certainty I had learned how to love selflessly. It was the first time I wanted more happiness for the person I was with than I wanted for myself. And a mixture of my two favorite things was the only way I could think to describe the way that kind of love feels.”

“It's one thing to experience trust issues with men due to infidelity. But Ben lied to me on such a large scale that I have no idea what was true, what was a lie and what was fabricated for his book.
I'm the most devastated when I think about all the times he made my scars feel beautiful, while never once admitting that he was actually the one who put them there.”

“I'm not sure if sex is supposed to make you feel like you've just lost a part of yourself to the person inside you, but that's exactly what it felt like. It felt as if the second we joined together, a tiny piece of our souls got confused and a piece of his fell into me and a piece of mine fell into him. It was by far the single most intense moment I've ever shared with another person.”

“Maybe I don't know the first thing about falling in love, because I've been telling myself I'm not falling for him yet. That it's
But it's not. What's happening inside my heart right now is way too consequential to deny. I think I've been misjudging the whole concept of insta-love. Now if I can just figure out how we can finish these next few years with a happy ending.”

“I try not to think about what I'm doing. How I'm about to move from a place I've lived my entire life to a city where I know absolutely no one. The thought of it makes me want to call a cab and go straight back to my apartment, but I can't.
I have to do this.
I have to force myself to make a life before the one I'm not living swallows me whole.”

He kisses me like he wants this kiss to be remembered. For which one of us, I don't know, but I allow him to take as much as he can from this kiss and I give him as much as I have. It's as if he really is my boyfriend & this is something we should be doing all the time. being too comfortable can be a crutch. With kisses like these, I could see myself easily falling into Ben's life and forgetting how to live my own.

"I'm not very good with on-the-spot motivational speech," I say to her. "Sometimes at night, I'll rewrite conversations I had during the day, but I'll change them up to reflect everything I wish I could have said in the moment. So I just want you to know that tonight when I write this conversation down on paper, I'll say something really heroic and it'll make you feel really good about your life."

“She swam as far out as she could, and then turned around to tread water and stare at the land. The shore seemed so far.
The people were specks. She could talk to them if she wanted.
She could do so many things with the rest of her day. She was alone in an enormous city, and there were dozens of shapes her life might take. She swam towards the shore, bought a beer, and fell asleep on the sand.”

“love isn't a feeling. It's not the butterflies in your tummy you get in the giddy early days of a relationship. The butterflies don't last, he says. Love is something you deliberately decide to do through repeated actions of care. Love is something you make.”
I do love a wedding

“He doesn't know what words might help her feel loved, cared for & comforted, If she can't believe she's not going to die, he doesn't know what words might help her believe everything will be fine anyway. She'll still be loved, looked after & incomparably adored, & everyone will be with her until the very end, & they'll hold her hand, & they'll never forget her, & they'll all be together again someday.” I am sad

“She feels full up with love for her friend Phil. She misses him. She wants to be back with him in the shopping centre at sixteen, seeing the future as enormous and free.”

“There's only so much air.
She needs to save it for herself. She wishes that air were more abundant than this. She doesn't want to ration so carefully, but she needs to breathe too.”

“It's no longer deniable that Phil is in love with him.
He's in love in that way which is simple and enormous.
He's in love in a way that soars, swells and bowls him over. It's like there's a spongy substance expanding in his chest. It causes a painful, forceful, pleasurable ache. It is lovely, and also, it is too much to take.
But also, he thinks, life is short.”

PHIL AND KEITH SAY I LOVE YOU!!

“And here was Phil's body and mind: shy of intense experiences. Seizing up & shutting down on the precipice of deep, vivid feeling. When faced with something hot, un-known, frightening, or desirable, every part of Phil's body and mind would usually implore him to reject it, no matter how much he wanted it, no matter how much it would have improved his life and love and experience of the world to have it.”

I thought the party would be crazier full of more revelations and confessions but it felt more dazed and tired and empty like looking for something to happen and wanting affection and affection reciprocated but not feeling it, feeling nothing really
Maybe that is exactly the significance