J > Recent Status Updates

“No bareback today, m’lady.”

She’s a better woman than me. I would have laughed my way into a hospice

“One: that ‘kid’ would eat someone her own age for breakfast. Two: hello pot, I’m the kettle.”

Lmfao

Oh come on! All this time Michelle has been hyped as a badass, smart, raised by bikers, taught to shoot, bla bla bla. Yet so far every single time she had an opportunity to prove it she fawns and fumbles royally

One would think Mathias has no reason to help Leo to break the curse. If he lets it be then Kyrith dies

“Perhaps I could try to make myself fall in love with Mathias while I’m at it.”-Leo

Lmfao

“Wherever that gem is, it’s well hidden.”

Aww come on. If I can put two and two together so you you Kyrith

I don’t like the “baby girl” ngl. Gives me a lil bit of the ick 🙃

“You might not have noticed”—Wait, North is here too?—“but there’s a massive fucking knife pinning you to this ugly-ass altar.”

😂

(Though about it a while ago but forgot to log it. Has nothing to do with this particular %)

Lmfao Jasper being a sub in such an obvious way is so funny to me. Diversity! Praise Magic!

At this point I’m only continuing this because I was promised a mmc in misery at some point

“You’re not fat, though you have gained some weight.  It seems to all be in your belly though.  How is that possible?” he asks in bemusement.

Men 🙄

Girlie I think you have a complex

Omg! I’ve never met someome irl that listens to Halestorm, let alone seen it mentioned in a book.

Miss Owens knows ball

I thought the first was an one off, but I see the inconsistencies are plenty in this book…

1. The way their bodies were positioned when they slept in the same bed did not make a lot of sense. Each time a new aspect of their entanglement was mentioned it made less and less sense
2. A one-strap dress cannot possibly have cleavage, yet this one apparently does (who knows how)

Lmao. The funny thing is, he never wanted to be king. Fate had other plans and said “no no no, shush. I’ll put a crown on your head and you’ll take it like a good boy 🙂‍↕️”

She is his…aunt…by marriage…?

“You will give my child a father.”

*Insert flabbergasted Zara Larason meme*

“Your daughter will be returned when the enemy is defeated, Corvyn. But if I die, she dies.”

Lmfao. If he dies, she dies. If she dies, her father dies. And he doesn’t even know 😭

Amy Harmon does it again! Here I am 3% in and bawling my eyes out

“tucking her fingers into his gills that were warm”

Isn’t that the equivalent of shoving her fingers in someone’s nostrils? 💀

“Wet and salty isn’t on my list of things that I like to eat.” He opened the next one a little harder, and his claw thunked against the metal floor. “I am wet and salty.”

Lmfao

I can’t stop cackling

Can you imagine turning around and you see a half fish dude ominously staring at you from less than a foot away. A fish man missing an arm, at that

“Shut up. You’ve officially abrogated your rights to refuse medical treatment by virtue of being too stupid to live.”

There’s that spine 🤩

If I hadn’t paid money for this, it would be an instant DNF

As it stands I’ll have to deal with the fact that I was sold a strong, intelligent and capable fmc only to be delivered a stubborn, stupid and helpless fmc.

Seriously? You can’t be a badass for one second?
All that hyping up your combat skills just for you to trip on a root and flail with the animal hanging from your foot??

The most fictional thing about this is the fact that the government(s) of the earth thingie were prepared to sacrifice the entire exchange program just to protect her. As if the government of anything anywhere was ever going to put one life above greed (disguised as progress in this case)

By some unfathomable mechanism, the Listening had uncovered a truth so private I had been keeping it hidden even from myself. I was in love with Hathan.

LMFAOOOO I SWEAR NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I LAUGHED IN DISBELIEF BEFORE. AND THIS JUST DID IT

I actually pity Saresh rn. Listening to her thoughts is worse than torture I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemies. Speaking from experience

So you could have spared me about 5% of this mess if you had just said yes to the listening in the first place and you didn’t??!?!?!?!!!?!! Bitch I’ve had it up to here with your bullshit

I’ve never read about a more ridiculous FMC in my entire life 💀