Ulrika C: > Recent Status Updates

“I’d do anything for you, but—please don’t ask me to if you’re not sure” - Alex to Poppy

Alex loves Poppy and Poppy loves Alex. That was never their problem.

“For the first time in my life, the airport strikes me as the loneliest place in the world. All those people, parting ways, going off in their own directions, crossing paths with hundreds of people but never connecting.”

Alex thought about what he is willing to give up, if Poppy wanted to be with him. Alex does not want to be a vacation boyfriend for whenever Poppy gets bored.

Poppy sees Alex going to his airport while she has to go to her gate. For the first time, she feels lonely on a airport.

Poppy says they need to talk to figure it out, but Alex says he does not want to talk for a while and that they don't need to figure it out, she does. Alex has known for a decade that he loves Poppy, but he does not want to get in the way of her happiness (very similar to how Poppy reason about Alex). Alex thought he gave Poppy the space she wanted during the two years they did not speak. He still thought about her.

Alex mentions that he is not a water taxi rider she meets on a vacation (referring back to their first trip when Poppy went off and made out with Buck). Poppy tries to reach for him, but he asks her not to touch him right now (which Poppy respects even though she would like to touch him). Alex knows what he wants and he thought Poppy knew that too this time.

Hearing a break from her real life hit really hard on Alex. Alex thinks that Poppy just saw what they had together during the trip and going to Alex's brother's wedding, was just a fun break from Poppy's real life. Poppy tries to say that she meant what they had, that she loves Alex.

Poppy tries to explain the situation for Alex, that she had talked with Rachel about her situation and that she needed a vacation. First, Alex thinks that Rachel suggested to Poppy to trick him into going on a trip with her. Poppy tries to explain that was not the the case - but instead says that she needed a break from her real life.

Poppy admits that she is not going to write an article for R+R, that they rejected her idea and that she paid for the trip herself. Alex is sad and hurt that she lied and said that she should have told him. Poppy answers that she would not have went with her if he knew that she was paying for the trip.

Both Poppy and Alex oversleep on the departure day. They have to rush to pack their things, check out, return the rental car and getting to the airport on time.

When they are finally at the airport, things are a bit awkward. Alex tries to mention the R+R article that he thinks that Poppy are going to write. Poppy is embarrassed that she has not dealt with her lie earlier.

Neither Alex nor Poppy initiates the conversation about what next. For Poppy, the main reason is because she does not know and does not have a concrete answer and instead focuses on the present moment.

There is a lot of things happening in this chapter at the present trip. We get introduced to Alex's nephews and nieces, the rehearsal dinner takes place with some toasts from Tham's sister and Alex's father. Poppy and Alex go to the wedding, with lots of yellow decoration and partying. The day after the wedding, Poppy and Alex are going to to go home.

“Can you just do me one favor?” I ask.
He knots his hands against my spine. “Hm?”
“Only hold my hand when you want to.”
“Poppy,” he says, “there may come a day when I no longer need to be touching you at all times, but that day is not today.”

Alex is not mad, he thinks that his father Ed sometimes need to hear difficult truths.

At the rehearsal dinner, they meet Alex's father Ed. Poppy give him her condolences for the loss of Betty. While she understands him and his grief, Poppy also gets angry because the loss does not only affect him but also his sons as well. Without thinking it through, Poppy tells Ed that he will go through it because his sons needs him. Ed leaves instantly after that and Poppy apologizes to Alex for making it weird.

Poppy also admits on her insecurities

“I've always felt like once someone sees me deep down, that's it. There's something ugly in there, or unlovable, and you're the only person who's ever made me feel like I'm okay.” - Poppy to Alex

Poppy and Alex gets intimate before going to the rehearsal dinner.

Alex also says that he doubted that he could make Poppy happy and she says something really important

“It’s not your job to make me happy, okay? You can’t make anyone happy. I’m happy just because you exist, and that’s as much of my happiness as you have control over.” -Poppy to Alex

Later one, he went past a store and found a ring that he thought would make a great engagement ring. Right after that, he thought that Sarah would hate such a ring. Then it clicked that Alex were thinking that ring for Poppy, Having those thoughts while in a relationship with Sarah was not fair so Alex broke it off. That also explains why Sarah has tried to contact Alex - for trying a third time.

Alex confirms that it is because of Poppy that Sarah and Alex broke up again. However, it was him ending it this time. After the couple Tuscany trip (which Alex had to convince Sarah to join, she did initially not want to go), Alex was a mess after Poppy' pregnancy scare for days.

Alex asks if he had done something wrong and Poppy assures him that he has not. That Poppy is not mad with Alex but rather herself for getting in the way. She asks Alex about the ring and the fact that he was going to propose to Sarah. Poppy thinks that she is the reason that Sarah broke up with Alex. Without Poppy, Alex would have married Sarah and have kids now, Poppy thinks.

Poppy could have chosen to forget about the thoughts about Alex proposing to Sarah and that he just makes her happy on the cost of his own happiness. When Poppy and Alex were getting to their room, Alex was close to her and they could have gotten intimate instantly but Poppy chooses to let go and start washing up her make-up while thinking how to deal with her thoughts.

“I thought you didn’t like holding hands,” I say.
“And you said you did,” he says.
“So, what? I just get whatever I want now?” I tease.
His smile flickers back into place, calm and restrained. “Yes, Poppy,” he says. “You get whatever you want now. Is that a problem?”
“What if I want you to have what you want?”

Poppy is feeling bad because the thoughts about Alex being lonely in Linfield, about her being the reason for the break-up between Alex and Sarah and that Poppy is in the way for Alex's happiness for her selfish need for Alex in her life. Alex even gave up on not wanting to hold hands to please Poppy. David says that Alex should be happy yo have her but Poppy thinks that the dynamics is the opposite - she has Alex.

Poppy has the feeling that Sarah id not accidently disappear. Sarah broke up with Alex a second time after the Tuscany trip. Although nothing happened between Alex and Poppy on that trip (especially since they both had relationship at that time with Sarah and Trey, respectively) something had changed that could lead to Sarah being fed up being Alex's second priority because Poppy is always Alex's first priority.

Alex is needed for a David trivia Game and that leaves Poppy and David alone for a moment. David says that he is happy that Alex has Poppy now. He implies that Alex may feel lonely with all his younger brothers getting married and starting families. David says that Alex was planning to marry Sarah, that he even had a ring for Sarah - but something had happened because Sarah just disappeared.

Poppy and Alex arrives to the rehearsal dinner hand in hand (despite that Alex had previously said that he did not like holding hands). Alex later on explains that he is holding hands with Poppy because she likes holding hands.

Alex's brother David appears and seem so happy when he notices that they are holding hands.

The freak out during the Croatia trip happened during the the end of the trip. This time they had to go through rehearsal dinner and wedding before the trip was over. While preparing for the rehearsal dinner, Poppy tries to ask him and eventually he asks if she regrets last night to which Poppy instantly says no and asks if he regretted it. He says not at all and they get intimate before the rehearsal dinner.

In the present summer trip, Poppy and Alex have still not talked about what happened between them. Alex leaves for a morning run and leaves a short note. Poppy seems to have hoped for some clue about what he was thinking about what happened between them and how he wants to progress. Poppy fears that he regrets it and will freak out. Both he and Poppy had freaked out during their Croatia Trip.

I can see that people might get frustrated with both Poppy and Alex. It is so obvious that they have feelings for each other. Seeing Alex's actions it seems very likely that he has feelings for Poppy as well. Instead of talking about it, Poppy get into a relationship with Trey and it is not unlikely that Alex got back with Sarah because Poppy got into a relationship. I hope Trey and Sarah don't get too hurt.